Friday, August 26, 2011
I thought this trip will bring us closer but I just expected too much out of her. She really grow more indepedent now, no logger depedent much on others or maybe is just me. Sometime she give me a feeling of herself and sometime she give me a feeling of she pretending to be the stronger side of herself. I know her heart is not on this trip.. If she is given a choice she will not want to go for this trip.
I hope she did enjoy herself with smartpig.. Even though we dont talk much on this trip but at least I know that I can be there for her. Although I am not the best person for her but I am always there for her all the time. I don't know when will our next trip be again.. I know it is not soon but hope that there will still be more piggy trip coming along.
The attitude she give me is the same feeling I received 1yr ago.. Those small things I do will jus make her more unhappy toward me.. Maybe i really try too hard toward her.So I sometime i rather accept the cold treatment from her.. At least I can Make peace with her. 1yr ago I was on the same trip and things wasn't that bad... Something jus reflected back in my memories. Certain things shld stay and something must go. I only can give my full blessing to her and hopping that 1 fine day we will be ok again. This barrier that we have will always be there till the day that we have fully let go. Maybe till the day she is getting married or maybe I am getting married than we will no longer
have this barrier again.
i skated in the lonely world ...quiet and undisturbed at
3:25 AM
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