Sunday, July 10, 2011
Sometime doing things alone is good but sometime when u think about doing things alone u dont really have the energy to do it. I was attending a wedding lunch today.. thinking back last time how i used to bring my partner along whenever i am attending an event. After the wedding i went over to visit eggcow again... seeing her again after 2 mths make me miss her so much. It have been 3yrs since she last left me, sometime i will still have the thinking she is still around me. Especially when i pass by her work place, pass by her house, pass by our ECCP (eggcow carpark), all these just remind me of her belonging. Giving a chance again i wish to say and do things all over again with her, i wish that i wasnt that childish and to understand her better. I wish to nag at her again tell her to eat, i wish that i still can provide my 24/7 delivery service to her. I wish that i have done that much, but i only can do so much and yet i feel that i didnt do much for her.
Sometime when i visited eggcow and write on her note pad i really wish that 1 day i will be seeing a sign off by DT. Maybe i just think too much cause she will never visit eggcow for no reason and eggcow is not related to her also. It is because of me she know about eggcow and everytime i talk about it i will been too emo toward her. Beside eggcow, i also visited eileen's hubby, visited Kenny Chong and lastly DT's DB fren. Since is within walking distance i must as well do it all, i didnt make the effort to visit them whenever i visited eggcow so since today i am free i should do that.
Maybe too much emo sorrow to pour it out so i spend sometime with them, sometime i wonder how are they doing. I cant help but to cry, but after the cry u will just feel better. This is fate and all these are pre arrange by God, we can change the fate that things happen, we only can try to accept the fact that it happened.
I fall into deep sleep when i am back home, i have a weird dream, i dreamt about DT. The dream was back to 2yrs ago before we gotten together, there are no worries, lots of happiness. It bring me through the memory lane once again and it bring me through the process of breakup. I woke up in fear because i know that i have lost her and my eyes just fill up with tears. I still remember last time when i stay over at her place sometime i will woke up in the middle of night with fear, thinking that she left me. When i turn around and i realise she is around my heart is at ease, i will hug her tight and fall back to sleep again. This is reassure that she is still around, when i tell her about this she laugh at me and say tell me that she still never leave me until the day she no longer love me anymore.
All these are legend, all these shouldnt be here anymore. When the time is up we have to go, when the time is right we have to learn to accept new. This is life.
i skated in the lonely world ...quiet and undisturbed at
10:23 PM
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