Monday, June 06, 2011
we were out last week.. it have been sometime since we last met. The feeling of picking her up was abit uncertain. I was quite disorganize when i was at her place, didnt have time to pack that car. The so call barrier that we had wasnt that bad and naturally she know what was bought for her. Our body language just make things prefect.. maybe we have been together for so long, certain things are just meant to be unspoken. I am glad that she love the present that i bought for her, i know that was her fav and without thinking i ordered just for her. I will tend to look into certain detail she didnt notice, look into small things that affect or concern about her. I was afraid that we got nothing to talk about as i still think that the barrier that we have is still bothering us but to my surprise she talk really alot. I am glad that she talk and of cause me being me just be there to listen those things.
Well when she is around my heart really beat fast... i dunno whybut i still feel nervous when she is with me. I thought the feeling no longer there but i was wrong, my heart still beat for her. I got no choice i only can drink water to claim myself down, still got to bother her to help me with those. When we were dining, my heart still didnt slow down it just keeping running like those running nuts. I wish i could tell her how i feel about it, i wish i could tell her that i wan to hold her hand to claim down. I over heard about her talking abt someone to smartpig.. my mood change, my face turn black or long. I got no mood to eat, i got no mood to talk about anything. I wish to tell her that i am unable to listen to this but still her have the freedom to speak.
I keep asking myself.. what wrong with me.. what do i want? It have been already 1yr, this 1yr she is doing well, i should be glad too. I shouldnt keep being affecting by those things that she do or say. I am not looking forward for any return, not wanting anything to happen between us. Maybe i still need a longer time to adjust my comfort zone and adapt to new.
The ride hm was really silent... i understand she have a long day at work, so i dont want to bother her much too. I think she is falling sick, feeling so cold all the time. I wish i can tell her let me hug u so that i can give u some warm... i turn off the aircon, turn off the music so that she can sleep peacefully. Seeing that pig fall asleep i found the cute side of her, wish that i can see her more often in the sleepy states.
i skated in the lonely world ...quiet and undisturbed at
2:35 AM
| Powered by TagBoard Message Board |
