Monday, March 07, 2011
today was abit not myself, maybe is monday blue... I have been quite emo / bad mood since morning.. cause i was at some place where me and her used to spend alot of time at. I try not to think abt it, try not to put any emo to it but still i fail. The feeling that both of us have is getting colder and colder... maybe to the extend that she cant be bother abt me. I am also tired of keeping asking her to meetup cause end of the day i will still get 1001 excuses for not meeting up. I thought i could slowly get over this stupid issue but i realise the more i keep saying that i want to do it the more i still stuck here. I never blame her, i never wan to bring up anything, i just want to let it be this way.
Airline called me up today abt the air ticket that i bought for her, i dunno how to bring it up to her. I dont have much time left but still i am afraid to ask cause i am afraid of facing rejection. I always save the prefect holiday for the one i love and i have save that 'prefect' holiday for her. As long as she say YES no matter what i will bring her go. There are not much time left for me to do alot of things, just doing things which i feel happy abt it. There are so many joy and sorrow that i wish to spend it with her, sometime i wish to just give her a call to say HI. I dont have the courage to do so.. cause whenever i hear her voice or see her voice the 'feeling' will haunt me again.
Whenever i see her so tired i feel so heartpain, i wish to lend her my shoulder to lean on. I wish to ask greenie to send that tired pig back hm... there are so many thing that i wish to do whenever she needed somebody or something. I only can do that much, that little much that i hope she can feel it. If she need somebody i promise i will always be there, all the time! I wish that i could see that big dee smile again... listen to that trademark laughter... and doing tickle me dee again...
I am tired of the fast pace life.. looking back at my life i realise that i have been living the same way for the past 8yrs. I have been so busy in the hotel and travel industry for the past 8yrs. I feel that is time for me to slow down and live a simple life... a life that you just want spend your quiet moment with that someone. I start to learn how to be introvert and independent. I trying to adapt the feeling of being alone and the feeling of not talking for 8hrs.
i skated in the lonely world ...quiet and undisturbed at
7:06 PM
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