I was out with mel and pris today, it have been really long since we last gather together. As usually my love life is still within their concern.. they know DT really affect me.. Hear from mel that she and her gf manage to get an apartment on their own.. soon in Feb they will be moving in and living together. This just remind me of the promise that me and DT made.. the fighting spirit that we have is to save as much as we can so that we can have our own house, our snowball / snowflake and our small little absolut cafe. I really envy mel it is only a 1yr r/s and yet she is ready to commit to her gf and mine was also 1yr but she choose to leave me even though i was abt to commit. I never blame her for leaving me maybe just that i love her more than she love me. Knowing that end of the day she will not come back to me, knowing that we will not be together but still.... i still choose to live in denial. Maybe trying to make myself more happy by trying to think that i dont 'hate' her too much... Yes everyone know that i still got feeling for her, she herself also know. I dont deny that but i am not expecting anything in return, as long as she is happy. Sometime i think if we are happen to get back together again will we be happy? I will still love her unconditionally and endlessly... knowing that end of the day i might be the one who get hurt again. The story of love is not important, what is important is that one is capable to love. Even when one knows that love will end.
i skated in the lonely world ...quiet and undisturbed at
2:38 AM