Thursday, October 07, 2010
I just got back home from her house, took every single thing of mine, leaving no trace behind. Before i step into her house my heart was pumping very very fast in the car.. the feeling that i have for her is actually still there. I act everything as normal when i enter her house, told her parents because i need to vancant the room so i am here to take the stuff home. I bet more or less they have guess our r/s but they just keep it as it is. Nothing much more to say, my fren and i slowly just drag the boxes back to the car. Before i left i lift up the blanket and realise snowflake is not around, i expected that from her. I hope she will take good care of snowflake it will not turn yellow or brown the next time i ever see it again, or dont even let even let me know that snowflake is not around anymore (i dun think she so cruel). In case u read my blog, that dumbo was not from your frens or ur bro it is from me. I search the whole singapore and that is the only 1 left and same for the bag and the flower as well. Those things came together with when your frens are around doesnt mean that they have a share. I wanna to tell u this Since ur bday but i dont know how to put it into words. I am not being selfish but just want u to know u r special to me.
The room is much more empty now, maybe u will not feel any different because my things are not impt to u. I will not step into your life again, i will not update u anything again. I will not want to know anything abt you and your new life, so just enjoy while u can. Yes i expected this will come 1 day but i just thought it wouldnt be so soon, i was wrong it just took u 1 mth to accept the new thing. The girl who i used to know that she is so strong abt getting into r/s have changed, she was easily move by ppl. Even we are still together i guess end of the day we will still breakup because i know how izzit like working in a hotel / nightlife.
Sometime i envy my frens like Jo & Sharon they can choose to live in 'this kind' of r/s for so long. I know it take both parties to share the same dream & life together that is how a basic way of prolonging a r/s. I did try to share mine with her and I thought we are the happiest couple on earth. I was wrong cause if the person no longer share the same dream with u anymore, happiness is just pretending.
She have move on to a new stage of life, she claim that she is happy. When i knew the incident this morning my heart was rushing everywhere.. my mine was blank. I attempt to call her and msg her but i realise there is no point doing that. I drift away from everyone at work, i talk less, smile less and begin to live in my own world. I took 15 mins to think back since the last day we quarrel, i left her house, i spoke to her and etc.. i feel so silly.. In r/s i dun ask back for anything, because i dont value them in money term.
I dont know when will we talk again, maybe few months later, few years later. Although i will still be seeing her for the next 2mths (due to sch) i know things are not the same anymore. I will not want to talk abt any of these or u anymore.. because the 'chapter' of our life is close.
This wake up call woke me up.. it was so painful and upset that i cant cry. I change my bike pillion seat to single seat cause i will not pillion anyone anymore. I will not smile for u again cause u are no longer the sunshine of my life. I took back everything and left my sorrow behind, i will not look back again.
i skated in the lonely world ...quiet and undisturbed at
2:55 AM
| Powered by TagBoard Message Board |
