Sunday, September 12, 2010
It is a beautiful sunday, here i am sitting at home and trying to make up my mind on what i should do. This decision should be told and made 2mths ago, i still hanging on it till now. Sitting on my bed with a few cans of heineken, trying so hard to accept the decision that i have made. Is this decision just another crappy thingy that i am going to tell her or this is a final decision that i have made. Am i going to crawl back to her again few days or few weeks later. I ask our best friend, smartpig she told me if there is still hope and chance to save back the friendship than leave this now. This will be the best solution for both of us, is this really the best solution for us? I really think very hard and ask myself this, i really cant give myself an answer.
Everyone ask me to let go, telling me that there are someone out there much better than her. I dont need to lower my pride to so low that i cant see and feel myself. I feel that i love her more than i love myself now. I begin to learn the baby step way, i begin to let go bit by bit. There is a personally reason why i decide to give up right now.
You say there is no point of talking abt this izzit because u say u r tired of listening to me.. it sound more like u r running from your current problem to your latest new life. You want a fast adapt to prove to me that time will fade the feeling away. But deep down inside u and me will know izzit true anot.. out of 365days about average 250days u r with me and at least for 12hrs aday, izzit so easy to forget and let go?
Giving up isnt easy for me, The choices for me to choose are too limited. I choose to let go doesnt mean I dont love u, I'm still in love with u.. Yes I really do, its hurts me so deep to let u go. I choose to stop this love of ours, cause i know i cant give u the life u want. I did try and i told u before the time is not right yet. I was right the time is too short for me to prove it to u.. letting u go is to let u to be happy and to lead that kind of lifestyle that you wan to be.
hope the next time we met..
I can see ur smiles again..
always my sillypig
till my heart beats stop...
XOXO,
老雪人
i skated in the lonely world ...quiet and undisturbed at
3:35 PM
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