Monday, September 20, 2010
After so long she finally msg me today, well nothing much too just a form of updating that she have receive my stuff. I was kind of surpise that she will msg maybe she just happen to be good mood or really just remember to msg me because i ask her to do so. The feeling was so different instead of saying 'hey baby' or 'lao xue ren' both of us address each other as 'Hey'. Even how badly i want to know so many thing from her but i just dont have the courage to updated her life. Maybe i should say what right do i have to update her life, she is doing well right now.
I was at the supermarket yesterday... i took so manything on the cart and i realise 80% of it is her fav, it is those thingy that we will buy when we go shopping. Her fav snack, fav drink.. i daze at those thingy for awhile than i told myself even if i buy will i have the ccurage to bring it over to her place. Even i bring it over to her place does it make any different? what is there are someone out there doing what i am doing right now? What is there is someone taking care of her right now? I believe i will feel hurt and will not want to accept the fact.
I put everything back and start shopping again for myself, end of the day i realise that i got nothing to buy. Does it mean i dont love myself as much as i love her? Do i share the same interests with her that we shared almost everything? I dunno.. i cant answer myself too... My fren approach me again.. ask me to join Kbar.. i am so fan abt it, i know i cant and i wouldnt join at this moment.
Alot of plan in mind wanna to share with her so much but.. i cant. Alot of things to do but dunno where to start, ppl tell me focus on 1 thing at a time but there are so many 'important' things that i dont know which one to start with. Sometime i wonder am i really that lost without her..
i skated in the lonely world ...quiet and undisturbed at
11:33 PM
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