Tuesday, July 06, 2010
when people blog or talk about their happy love life i also wish that i could have 1 like them. Talking about what surpise they made for their gf/bf, talking about how is their day spend or even talking about who is being their for who when they are stress, lost or needed help. I wonder sometime what make them so loving after so long, what keep the heart beating... Sometime i wish that i could freeze those honeymoon period together, wishing that my everyday will just be like that. I used to think that being there for the person that you love the person is the best thing that you can provide everyday. Thinking about what to later after work, thinking about how to spend the lovely weekend together. I used to look forward to it every week thinking of what surpise i can do somemore to surpise her. Even i dont get any return but as long as i see the smile on her face i ma more than happy. These happiness does last long, time just past through and shortly after no more of those.
Sometime i think back, even 1 day there is nothing to do we can just be together and enjoy each other belonging. We can just laugh for nothing, watch movie all night long. It seem to be like endless things to do, wishhing that i could have 48hrs a day to use. There are alot of time i wish to express myself in a different way, wanna to tell her that how important is she to me. Every moment i do i will alawys think about her, she seem to be like living in me. SOmetime i ask myself did i regret to start out with her? Izzit a wrong decision that was made?
We are busy with each other, shortly after we hardly have heart to heart talk... less letter was written from her to me. I try to write some to her but usually no reply. She used to write me letter and tell me to take note how many letter was written to me. Soon breakup came into our relationship, maybe that was suppose to be a good decision..... Of cuase i didnt agree with it cause i feel that what thing in us we cant work out together, i couldnt find out the problem why she is leaving me.
I guess being too close to her might just kill the spark between us, i try to change out daily life to suit her better. I try all way to make her happy, all way to get back the happy moment we had together. I fought for love, fought for attention but still i lost my battle. Doesnt having her staying by my side is such a hard thing to fufill. I have lost count on how much i have cry for her, how much i wanna to be there for her. How much i dying to spend to her and spend sometime alone with her. Now she dont even want to spend that little moment which i treasure alot with me anymore. I dont know what did i do wrong or what have i done to make this so ugly. Maybe loving her too much was a wrong thing, but i cant help but still love her.
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How long has it been since i held you near?
How long will it be till i have you right here?
You say that it hurts, i cant disagree
But how can i hold on to someone who's leaving me?
And mary says she's gonna be ok
She tells me things are getting busy these days
And mary says she's gonna be alright
You know how much i need her in my life
Goodbye yesterday i see my dreams walking away
And Mary looks just like she did before
Expect she dont love me, she dont love me anymore
I could shake your hand or I could kiss you goodbye
But i just might break down looking in you brown eyes
So what happens next
Do i listen to my mind or heart
I dont know where to start feeling alright again
And mary says she's ok
she tells me things are getting busy these days
and mary says she's gonna be alright
you know how much i need her in my life
good bye yesterday i see my dreams walking away
and mary looks just like she did before
except she don't love me
and mary says she's gonna be ok
she tells me things will be much easier some day
and mary says she's gonna be alright
you know how much i'm missing her deep inside
and mary says she's gona be ok
she's gonna be alright
she's gonna be alright
i skated in the lonely world ...quiet and undisturbed at
12:21 AM
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