Monday, June 09, 2008
Finally after 3.5yrs of waiting i decided to let things go cause to prevent further damange this will be a good choice for both of us. I tired so many time, all kind of ways but still nothing can change her mind. It's over after 10yrs of friendship, 3yrs of countship and 3.5yrs of breakup... i guess she is tired and me too. I dont want her to be sad and being pester by me so letting go perheps is a good choice, it have been so long since i see her grin so widely in a relationship. I feel that this person she is with now will treat her much better and love her more then i do.
I dont actually believe that what we have was fate i just simply thought that it was just coincidence but time after time we have met each other at all those places that we never thought of, weird hours that nobody will believe it and the best thing is we dont meet each other just once sometime few times in a month. Frankly speaking i have rarely met my exs after we broke up and talk about few times in a month even more rare but i just dont understand why we meet each other all day long.
Time after time we have talk things out and she have make herself very clear that things are impossible between us, my stubborness still stay on and fright for my rights. I am not sure whether does she fall in love so quickly because she found the right one or she just want to proof something to us. I just dont want her to be hurt again, time after time i dont know how much longer she have to suffer but I really hope that her bad karma have paid off everything she owe let her enjoy her love life for once.
I guess i must be out of my mind to say all these to someone that i love the most in my life.... what a joke!!!! Actually since that day i know something was wrong before i go japan and i have already make up my mind if this time she is attach again i should give her my full blessing. I am trying so ya it take time ok. It's quite a surpise that i never bother to ask much about her currently relationship or even bother to break them up, I mean whatever is over let it be over the more we hump on the issue the more things will turn out to be more ugly. Cath always said that if she is meant to be friend no matter how much to tried it will still be the same, what is yours will natural come back to you in the end. So let bygones be bygones, and I guess she is happy right now.
I plan so much and of cause plan still want the plan to goes on as usual well but got to edit certain things if she is still attach with that person. Relationship is so funny someone when you dont want it to come to you it will just natural turn out to be there for you. If you really love someone will you want to have her by your side ever she dont love you anymore or will you let her go and be happy. Will you be gentleman enough to say that yes she deserve someone better then me or will you be selfish enough to say no she is mine no matter what.
Sometime trust is no longer an issue it's all about how much you can commit into that relationship you have with that person. Those vows or promises that you made before you start of, those things that you wanna to fufill to her. If i still giving a chance again i didnt regret to choose you in the 1st place, if i have a choice again i wouldnt choose to cheat you. If giving a chance i will still choose you to be my love of the lifetime. I hope you are happy i give you my full blessing for now, i got a strong feeling that she can take good care of you.
PS: I am always here for you anytime when you want to talk, i might not be a prefect lover but i am sure i that i am a prefect listener. Take care darling, you are on your own now be strong and never drop your precious tears for someone who dont deserve it.
他不爱我
牵手的时候太冷清
拥抱的时候不够靠近
他不爱我
说话的时候
不认真
沉默的时候又太用心
我知道他不爱我
他的眼神说出他的心
我看透了他的心
还有别人逗留的背影
他的回忆清除的不够乾净
我看到了他的心
演的全是他和她的电影
他不爱我尽管如此
他还是赢走了我的心
i skated in the lonely world ...quiet and undisturbed at
2:04 PM
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