Friday, May 30, 2008
I am currently now in japan it is 1.15am here and i cant sleep something have been bothering me for the past few days since i am here. I know is kind of stupid to think about it but since sat this thing have been bothering me but i try to control it not to show. I know this is the selfish part me but i cant help it, i mean i must be happy for the person that i love to be attach but the more i know about it the more i am unhappy with it. I try to pretend that i dont know but when i see her grinning on those msgs on her hp i know something must be wrong. I dont wish to ask much as i dont want to step into her comfort zone but the more i see her smile the more i want to know. I know i got no right to say or do anything and i know myself where i am staying at, the chances that i have is quite slim but still i hang on and move forward.
I ask around for advise and share my sorrow with my best fren but still all this doesnt really help to make it better, it's all up to me to let go or to stay on. I want to let go but i can bear to do so but staying on will make me feel more sad. My perfect picture of growing old with that person have slowly drift apart, my mind is thinking when will the yes come to me. Fate bought us together again and again but i always mess it up, i always think that that my action will touch ur heart but it seen like i have hurt you too deep that this doesnt really help.
I am not K i dont cheat without letting you know, i love you more then anything and seriously something i dont ever know why i am still holding on to it. In life beside shannon i treasure you the most and now because what i have done in the past i cant mend this back. I know you have given me chances after chances and of cause you dont wish to try that again to create of heartache. I know once it's broken no matter how much you trying to mend it back it cant be the same as before but sometimes i think that you dont ever bother to try cause you always think that once bitten twice shy.
I have plan all the perfect plan for the next few years you may think i am silly or you may think i am wasting my time but no matter what i have plan mean i have plan nothing can chance my mind. I am just waiting for the day when you say YES to me and i promise you with all my heart i will keep you by myself no matter what. I dont know how long i have to wait but since i choose this road i will keep it this way, i know as i have see in future i am sure that you will sure be with J in the next few months time or should i say maybe you guys are together now. I have done and said all that i can nothing i can do now change the current fact, my mum always say hey wayne whatever will be will be... it's just the matter of time.
Have you ever loved somebody so much It makes you cry
Have you ever needed something so bad
You can't sleep at night
Have you ever tried to find the words
But they don't come out right Have you ever, have you ever
Have you ever been in love Been in love so bad
You'd do anything to make them understand
Have you ever had someone steal your heart away
You'd give anything to make them feel the same
Have you ever searched for the words to get you in their heart
But you don't know what to say
And you don't know where to start
Have you ever found the one
You've dreamed of all of your life
You'd do just about anything to look into their eyes
Have you finally found the one you've given your heart to
Only to find that one won't give their heart to you
Have you ever closed your eyes and
Dreamed that they were there
And all you can do is wait for the day when they will care
What do I got to do to get you in my arms baby
What do I got to say to get to your heart
To make you understand how I need you next to me
Gotta get you in my world 'Cuz baby I can't sleep
*Sn0w_MaN blogging this while having 9 cans of asahi beer.....
i skated in the lonely world ...quiet and undisturbed at
12:12 AM
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