Sunday, May 11, 2008
After so long this is the most enjoyable weekend i have so far, i didnt know that doing things that you dont do often is really a great fufillment. I went to marymount children home on friday and i just feel like i am home, back to those younger days when my sister was in that primary school i often go there to help out and play with those young kids. I actually dont really like them cause i think have children running around and screaming here and there really give me big problem when still i help out with my heart. I this doesnt sound like coming from a person like me who dont really seen to ever care about my own sisters but i just have this special feeling for these kids.
Although is children home but they are not those unwanted kids or kids that is uncontrolable, they are just kids that are left in the home due to parents have no time to take care of them during the weekday or parents that have problem and unable to take care them. Me & company ppls was there on friday to spend some QT with them, i didnt thought that things will goes well cause after all it was quite sometime back since i ever do this. I thought of not going it in the 1st place but i dont know why my heart just tell me to go for it, so i was there and i met up with about 12kids age range from 6-13 years old. When i see them i just feel that i am back to my primary school days when i have to take care of those primary 1 students.
They are a bunch of lovely and cute kids and lots of laugh and joy just come out from them, we dont know each other well but the ice breaking of KFC dinner bring us 1 step closer. I talk and play with the kids and i was impress by how active and clever they are. Every kid have their own unquie way to express themselves, some are really subborn, some are really attention saker and some just want to be left alone. We played lotz of game and also unlimted laughter till the end of the night, before we left they give us a beautiful handmade card + a lovely song that they learn how to sing. I couldnt control my feeling and being to be emo my tearful just drop and they have melt my heart. I guess they are more to a friend than just a kid that i will visit, they are someone in my life that i will remember. Before i left i spoke to this girl name emily, she told me sometime that i have never thought of why a 13yrs old girl will think in this way. She say : I didnt expect they you company will come back to do charity with us again, i always think that adults doing charity just for the sake of doing. They didnt actually think about how we kids feel, they just come and give foods and donate money. These are just material item that we need daily but deep down we need was just someone who a little time with us and understand us.
I believe we have touched the children heart and seriously i have never been so happy for so long, I really enjoyed myself so much that i got home with lotz of body aching. I love to go back and spend my time with them again and i bought up a idea to create anothe event with them again. Sometime it's about heart to heart talk not so much about money, i always think that why money cannot but 2 things 1st is time 2nd is feeling. The best things you can do for your love ones is to show them some love and concern each day, sometime you 5 mins of care and concern can make their day better. When i used to have my the other half i make sure everyday i will call that person or ever msg that person to let the person know how much i love.
Met up with karine and some other old friends it's like only gathering them we are able to meet each other. I was looking forward to this meet up cause karine's sister is getting married and soon i already got news who is the next 2 couples that is getting married in the next 6 months. Someone that i didnt really talk to was there and things still start off well between us, i just she knows that we should just pretend nothing happend. Well after all i still cant accept someone who is younger them me in a realtionship, not because you are young mean you dont earn as much as i do or you dont think fat but i think it's more to the taking care part. I am a very childish person when it come to relationship so i expect my the partner to take care of me instead of me taking care of that person. I mean we didnt start out anything but when she express her feeling i kind of just avoid it and i think i do hurt her abit. I am not ready for that at this moment and my heart have already being fill up with someone else already. We didnt talk about any of this at all and i guess she is happy with her currently gf so i hope she will stick to it.
There are so many things i want to achive, things that i want to see, places that i want to go and do things that i havent do. There are so many things i want to say but i couldnt say it out, there so manythings i want to do but i cant do it without my partner. I dont want to expect too much cause the more i expect the higher disappointment i will get. My friend always tell me this trust you heart and follow where it goes and i guess i know where my heart have stop. It's boring without you around but still i am trying to stay happy, till today i am who i am having the same thinking that tomrrow will still be a better day. The person is still away from me, i miss the person like crazy, i miss hugging the person in my arms, i miss kissing the person, i miss saying 'i love you' to the person, i miss the most is no one nag at me anot more. Will things change as timr past by, will i be given another chance again? If given a chance to turn back the clock where will you want it to stop, if give a chance for you to choose to love the person anot will you say yes or no. I will want to turn back the time to my secondary school days that is where it being, if i can turn back the time again i will still love that person and i wouldnt choose to lie again. Honesty and trust is a tough lesson that i learn for the past 5yrs, once it's broken it will never be the same again.
i skated in the lonely world ...quiet and undisturbed at
11:25 PM
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