Thursday, February 07, 2008
I was at sharon's housefor dinner last night, it feel so weird that i am back at her house for dinner again. I was there with dawn & her sis yesterday and i guess dawn do feel the same way as i do. I feel like i am back home when i step into her house the feeling is just like living in yourown comfort zone and no one disturb you. We have steamboat last night and everyone who suppose to be there were there yesterday night. Most of the time i am always the most talktive person in every event and once i talk i cant stop but yesterday night was different i hardly talk maybe becauase things are different now.
I see that everyone on that table change alot and i think i am the only one who is still remain unchange and childish. I dont think like an adult and i dont behave like an adult also always so childish and demanding . Is me who dont want to change or i just cant change the way i behave, i guess i am a person who always want things to work out my way and never have any 2nd thought for anyone.
I always have this wonderful plan for myself planning to leave sg to aussie and actually someone offer me such thing. I use to hold back due to shannon and my personal realationship cause they make a big part in my life. I cant bear to leave them just for my dream and of cause if i couldnt bring shannon over that will be prefect. I still cant decide on what i want or perhaps i should learn how to grow up first. If i still live in this way i think i will lost out alot of things, maybe i still start from how to learn to give up first and pick myself up again from the start point. I must learn to hold the character of a Sn0w_MaN, it have been so long i didnt actually enjoy myself alone and i guess the time is up and is time to get it right. I should go back to the place where i belong and start to live back to my own life, i shouldnt bother anyone and affect anyone at anymore. memories are traces of tear so let the memories run down as the tears drop. What is the point of living in illusion when the truth is that all this are dream. I try very hard to get back the things that belong to me but i fail lotz and lotz of time, i am tired of trying so i decide to let fate decide on what it should be.
I can see the pain living in your eyes
And i know how hard you try
You deserve to have so much more
I can feel your heart and i sympathize
And i'll never criticize all you've ever meant to my life
I don't want to let you down
I don't want to lead you on
I don't want to hold you back
From where you might belong
You would never ask me why
My heart is so disguised
I just can't live a lie anymore
I would rather hurt myself
Than to ever make you cry
There's nothing left to say but good-bye
You deserve the chance at the kind of love
I'm not sure i'm worthy of
Losing you is painful to me
i skated in the lonely world ...quiet and undisturbed at
3:35 PM
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