Wednesday, December 19, 2007
There is a different viewing in different things when you are sober and when you are drunk and after so many drunk incident i still prefer to be drunk than sober. It's not because you can do what you want after you are drunk it's just that at least you know that at that point you are living in illusion. You do not need to worry about so much after you are drunk. When you are sober the most you will only encounter hangover in the morning but you will hardly remember what happen last night. I have know and hear too many things that i don't wish to hear when i am sober and it's really kill me cause this is the time you will see the true colour of that person. It's the time you will get hurt the most and you actually don't wish that to happen but you just can prevent it to happen.
I seriously don't understand why izzit so hard to be your ownself when you are with the person you love, why do we have to pretend and hide and make things ugly after that. I knew that my secret affair with that person will never last long and perhaps this is call karma or maybe due to trust issue we cant take in the fact the he/she is such a person. I don't blame the person for doing that cause it's a way to protect herself from being hurt but i guess this time round i have the right to say that i am being treat unfairly cause i didnt hurt the person at all. I hate guess game and i hate choosing between things, i want an answer i don't want a perhaps. I feel that in a relationship you have to be happy with the person and also being honest as well. Someone once told me this: You need to be honest in order for people to trust you and if you want me to trust you than you have to be honest with me. I did my part for being honest after reading this but in the end it turn out to be the person is not being honest with me. I didnt take it in heart cause i know everything happen do have a reason behind but i just hate it when you cant decide what you actually want in life. I guess something i think that i am falling too deep into the hole where i cant ever find myself inside and i believe to climb out from this hole is not easy cause it's something that you don't wish to let go.
I hate the feeling of being stuck at something that i can slove it and the worse part is ever the person who create this problem also unable to solve it. I seriously dont know how to handle this maybe it's me who actually dont want to face the realilty and wish that thing can carry on like this way unaffected. I guess i need sometimes to think about this problem and since my fren is over their with the person to help me to slove whatever problem the person have than i shouldnt disturb them. I dont know what did my fren tell that person about me or anything since they met but well i got nothing much to hide about things. If you think i do have things to hide tell me right at my face dont do small actions and make it since like it's my fault when i dont ever do anything wrong in the 1st place. Think about what you want in life before you start sloving thing, i believe talking out will be the best things to slove the problem.
I would just like to say
Maybe for the very last time
Just let go of everything
I guess this is the time
Maybe you've changed
Maybe the feeling is lost
Should we meet again
Please don't ask about the feelings that i left behind
About what we left behind
Leaving your dreams behind
Open your heart to the times we had together
Maybe you've changed
Maybe the feeling is lost
Don't you ask again
Just keep all your regrets with you
Just forget all the love you gave me
i skated in the lonely world ...quiet and undisturbed at
5:54 PM
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