Monday, December 17, 2007
haha... i am in process to recover soon now i can hop without using crutches liao and tue i will be going to check up hope that the doctor will give me good news about my leg. My right shoulder now can move but cant carry heavy stuff and do big action hand and which mean that i cant go training for a period of time. Haiz.... *sob sob* i want training, i want sun tanning and i want to ride my bike haiz.... I am so glad that i got a bunch of good friends around me ppls like cath, gracey,sharon,jasmine,jo, joyce,huiting, my bike frens and etc... really show me lotz of care and concern. I just feel guilty for the mistake that i made and i am certainly oweing alot of ppls really big time. Ppls who send me to hospital, ppls who visit me, ppls who call up and concern about me and ppls that clear up all mu shit at home and at work. I guess i really grow really fat for the 2 weeks at home and this actually show me how izzit like to be at home the whole day. It's actually a good feeling to be at home the whole day to do things that you feel like doing, eat and sleep anytime you want.
I went back to office to clear some email that on friday and really see that my partner candice really busying clearing my shit, haiz... i am really sorry about that i will be back on xmas eve k. I also being quite upset over certain things and that person i mean i seriously dun understand what can make a person happy and dun need to worry about tomorrow. I hate the feeling of being sad and being hate but i mean no matter what i always put my happiness 1st than come the sadness. I have done my part and say what i should say and i dun blame the for anything it's her choice and she prefer to choice it this way than i am fine with it. You cant have the best of both world so at the end of the day you still have to know what you want the best for yourself. If someone ask you will you give up everything have just for the person? what will your answer be? Will you think before answering or will you just answer right away? Is you answer truely from the bottom of your heart or you just want to say something that the person want to hear? Nobody have the right to judge what you done or say, nobody know what is gonna happen in the next moment. I just all i have to say is to treasure what you have now before losing it ago, i have lose it once and i dun wish to make my mistake again. I have be really crazy of this and i am going to make it prefect.I dun care do i get anything in return at the end of the day but as long as i did my part and i feel that the person is happy that will be good enough. I really hope that thing will be different soon as i cant take it anymore longer.
I open my eyes
I try to see but I'm blinded by the white light
I can't remember how
I can't remember why
I'm lying here tonight
And I can't stand the pain
And I can't make it go away
No I can't stand the pain
How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
I've got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me
Everybody's screaming
I try to make a sound but no one hears me
I'm slipping off the edge
I'm hanging by a thread
I wanna start this over again
So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered
And I can't explain what happened
And I can't erase the things that I've done
No I can't
How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
I've got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
I've got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me
i skated in the lonely world ...quiet and undisturbed at
2:25 AM
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