Monday, November 12, 2007
Finally after so long get to meet up with the sister gang for the wedding, it was really fun to meet up with all the adults i feel so childlike that day especially when that person is around. Dinner was good at NYDC must thank aunt cath for that lovely dinner. Well i guess we got lotz of things to plan cause cath's wedding is just 1.5months away and nothing much is done yet. I dunno why but serious sometimes when u never meet that someone for very long your will actually be execited to look forward too but when that person disappointed you that is when your heart and hope drop. I am trying my very best to behave on the dinner ever thought it doesnt actually come natural to me to behave like this.
We went to beach bar later on and as usual weekend is her clubbing night and someone her gf is not around so more freedom. We told a cab together and i wasnt sitting at the back with the rest and of cause small chat came along as we are on the way. Her gf called just at the wrong time haiz.. of cause gf reporting to her telling her how life over in TW and of cause in a cosy little cab eveyone of us can roughly hear wat are they talking about. I try to avoid and not to listen of thing about it but i cant help but to be evil and listen to them. I feel that this is how it was when i was on my business trip and family trip, and of cause beign so quite at a place the gf sure ask what wrong with you and being quite but at the moment i know she is not being herself. Her gf must have comment something about me and she just can answer her directly cause maybe i am around that make her feel uncomfortable. We got down the cab and i tell you my heart was riot like nobvody business and my mind was so blank, my face was as black as chorcoal and i seriously don't wish to speak. If i was given a chance to speak to her i also don't know what to say it's just those time that you really hate the bloody feeling.
We part at Obar cath & gracy trying to talk to me since they realise that my face is black and gracy is away the one who know what i am thinking and what i am going through. I was not piss off or angry i am just being jealous and sad that i wasnt the one she cares. We carry on the program at veach bar waiting for jas & ah blur to come over, while waiting i was telling them how i feel about it and i didnt blame her for choosing the gf. I am the bustard who left someone who treasure me alot so who am i to blame her, and now it's gone you cant control all these things to take place. I cant control myself and i did msg her before i got drunk cause i dont want to make any silly commment when i am drunk. 'I msg her thing like erm... nice meeting u again after so long, take care and i will see u on cath's hen night.' I am did a stupid things by asking her without she want to share a cab back since we are on the same route, i dunno why the hell i got such a stupid excuse/idea but anyway i got rejected also la. I actually felt so .... when everything just take place like this and i really don't want her to be unhappy again. I can see and everyone can see she is happy with what she is having now so why you keep on bothering her. At this point of time there will be no change to her love life so i can just fucking forget about it, so what if i cry or die or do so many great things for her. It doesnt matter to her cause she have totally given up the hope on me.
I hope that the wedding event will goes well if you are reading this please don't avoid me anymore, i am not a monster i am just sn0wman i only hurt your feeling but don't mean it from my heart. It have been 2 years since we broke up what can be done i have alrady tried my best, if you still choose to hate me or let things to be this way that i really cant do anything. Everything is still the same as before nothing is change and anytimes you need something i am always there. Cath just be happy k u r going to be Mrs Lim soon, welcome to the Lim family.
i skated in the lonely world ...quiet and undisturbed at
9:25 PM
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