Monday, October 08, 2007
I got a good start this month, i got back my rvf liao haiz... heart pain but no choice this is what i choose in the 1st place. Hmmm... riding up to malcca this coming weekend and going to KL next weekend really looking forward to those trip. I am looking forward to cath's meet up well hear fro cath that DIVA is going, it's something that i cant really belive. She kept the promise and i trust her, well hope that it will turn out well la i d0n't want end up both of us make things ugly.
I havent been good recently stay up late at night and go out most of the time, frens bring me around when i don't have my rvf with me haha... but still my mum is damn piss of with me la. We quarrel over alot of things and mainly is my sister, haiz.. she is getting married and i don't want her to get married. I guess most ppls will think that it's crazy or selfish part of me but certain things in life you don't really understand until you learn it through the hard way. I wish that i have the right to decide everything or i wish i couldnt show something to them to make them realise that their choice was too soon to decide.
Back then when i was younger i fall into relationship easily, i don't at the point of time is call love or izzit just wanna to get into relationship. I hurt alot of ppls and i just feel that haiz.. it's ok la don't have A i still got B i still can carry on with my life. Relationship after 1 another i being to learn my lesson as i grow mature. I being to know who treat me well and who treasure me, who truely love you and who is out here for fun. I learn all this from someone that i lost and found back again, time after time we make effort for each other to be together. We also don't know why we will be back with each other but i guess it's a wrong choice for us. We shouldnt have agree and start of the relationship again since it's ended after secondary school time. I try my best to keep my promises for being there for the person all the time but after all i still fail to do so, i try my best to change my way of living but i can't move on without the person around. It's just like every morning in office i sure need my tea and there person wake up the 1st time sure need coffee and straits time paper. No matter how late the person is late for work / school 1st is coffee then follow by straits time paper then go toliet to poo poo last then remember that you are around. All this carry on for the pass 5yrs already nothing is change till now but of cause things that is change is you are not the person who is around anymore. i do miss those time when i have to take all this in a relationship and i realise that why am i not the 1st person in that person life, but something also tell me that have you put the person to be the 1st in your life. "You are always all most there but you have never reach, all that i need is only you. " Someone once say that to me, i always try but never for once it happen i don't it just me that i don't want to make a effort or i can't do it. Chances is given but i ruin it by myself, i can't blame anyone but myself. All i want to say treasure if you can, walk through with someone you love the most is not an easy thing in life. Action is louder than words, speak from your heart and not your brain. If you cant promise don't give empty promises, something it rather not to happen than being sad and heartbroken at the end of the day. Prevent it from happen then to cure it after happen.
Did I hear you right'cause
I thought you said
Let's think it over
You have been my life
And I never planned
Growing old without you
Shadows bleeding through the light
Where the love once shined so bright
Came without a reasonD
on't let go on us tonight
Love's not always black and white
Haven't I always loved you?
But when I need you
You're almost here
And I know that's not enough
And when I'm with you
I'm close to tears'
cause your only almost here
I would change the world
If I had a chance
Oh won't you let me
Treat me like a child
Throw your arms around me
Oh please protect me
Bruised and battered by your words
Dazed and shattered now it hurts
Haven't I always loved you
But when I need you
You're almost here
And I know that's not enough
And when I'm with you
I'm close to tears'
cause your only almost here
Bruised and battered by your words
Dazed and shattered now it hurts
Haven't I always loved you
But when I need you
You're almost here
Well I never knew how far behind I'd left you
And when I hold you your almost here
Well I'm sorry that I took our love for granted
And now I'm with you I'm close to tears'
cause I know I'm almost here
Only almost here
i skated in the lonely world ...quiet and undisturbed at
4:07 AM
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