Monday, June 18, 2007
I dunno wat wrong with me i just dun feel right, i cnt tell whether i am sad, happy, gloomy or blue. It's like i sore of lost something important but dunno wat izzit, i feel like i am worry about something but i also dunno wat izzit. I wan to talk to others but i dunno wat to talk about, i wan to cry but i cant. I cant decide on wat i wan, wat wrong with me. I was planning something for the bao this coming christmas, i guess some ppls might thing that i am mad cause christmas is still 6 months always but i already start planning. Well It's me cause i like to do things in advance , i dun wan thing to mess up on a special day when i wan to make the person happy. I know wat to get and i know wat time and where it suppose to be sent to, but sometime i wonder whenever the item that is sent to her will she grin or smile or ever feel surpise. I mean 90% she ususal know that is from me unless she expect something out from that "angel" well hmm... I dun need much from her, i just wan the bao to be happy with wat she has. I guess end of the day if 1 day something really bad happen to me i really hope she will attend my wake. knowing that after all these all i try my best to make up to her. I try lotz of way to look after and take care of her, she is a indepardent lady and extramely caring bao at all time. She will never fail to take care of those people who needed her help, she got not much patient but she always make a point of not to vain at other people espeically her lovely children. She is childlish at times but it's her childlishness that make her unique from others, she know when she should behave and when is time to be rubbish with me. She is always subborn with her words and she really take alot of pride in herself, she will not let others to ruin her life or mood. I still remember a coffee a day keep her going to toliet, she need at least a coffee a day she that she wouldnt have that kind of shitty feeling. Nothing can stop her from doing that daily thingy which something i actually quite piss off with her, i really dun understand wat wrong with me doing that shitting things as it does really kill her. I guess it's just me who cant be patient toward her, haiz... anyway these story are the past and no point of saying all this.
i skated in the lonely world ...quiet and undisturbed at
10:30 PM
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