Thursday, January 12, 2006
She finally left me for good, i am a unless and dishonest person in her life, she hate me i know. I know i cant get her forgiveness now or in future cause i really disappointed her till the core, i belive she that i should be the 2nd person that she hate so much in life. I am the one who ruin away the all chances that i have, i am gaving so many chances but i jus didnt cherish it at all. I jus take her for granted and i always think that everything i do is always rite nothing is wrong but after all my thinking was totally wrong. I know this thing gonna happen no matter what it's jus soon or later thingy cause i think there is really no must trust and love between us, i am sorry to make you suffer for so long. I should jus let you go and make you happy, I wish that we could be together again but i know is inpossible and i guess not ever fren again .I know it take time maybe a few year i guess, I am really sorry for my action and what i want to say is that you really woke me up from my dream that night, after that big quarrel . I only reliase than how important you are to me , There is no point to explain much cause what i know was i hurt the bao badly, this is beyond cure i know. Thank for being in my life all this while, i was so silly that i didnt cherish you that much will till i lost you. I am sorry if sometimes when you need me the most i wasnt there for you, When you need me to share the joy with you i also wasnt there for you. I dont wan you to be sad in future or should i say maybe you wouldnt be ever sad over me, cause you expect it to be this rite at the end rite. Pls do not throw always the book of love jus take it as it's a dairy from me to you, do take care of yourself when i am not around. I know after breakup i still so nagging but i wan you to know how much i am concern about you, pls wake up on time for school or work, dun club till so late at night everytime and most important is dun drink too much and eat your meal regualarly. I know i have no rite to say anything or control your life cause you are not my bao anymore,but i am here as a fren to concern about you. I would do what i did to KY last time to you cause i dun wan you to hate me ever deeper, I make promise myself i will be good from 2006 onward. It's jus a small wish that i wish for myself well i hope that it wouldnt be another empty promise. Life is abit hard for me to move on now as you are not around, really not use to it sometime ,W hen i dunno what to do or wear and no one give me advise, no one will ask me where am i or am i going home. No one will sing me song before i sleep and most important is you have walk out of my life. I am jus a phone call away anything if u happen to need me pls give me a call i am always there for you, and if you could promise something will be good pls help me take care of shannon if i happen to be out of town. You know no one else can do it as good as you, pls do me this big favor if i really happen to be away. I think most of the things i wan to say to you is all over here, pls take care of yourself in future, pls dun bu li wo when the next time we meet again.
**** Love You Always****
I read a note by my grandma wrote
back in 1923
grandpa kept it in his coat
and he showed it once it to me
he said, boy, you might not understand
but a long, long time ago...
grandma's daddy didnt lilke me none
but i love your grandma so
When have this crazy plan to meet
and run away together
get married in the first town we come to
and live forever
but nailed to the tree where we suppose to meet instead
I found this letter
and this is what it's said
if you get there before i do
dont give up on me
I'll meet you when my chores are through
I dont know how long I'll be
but I'm gonna let you down
Darling wait and see
amd between now and then
till I see you again
I'll be loving you, Love me
I read those words just hours before
my grandma pass away
In the doorway of the church
where me and grandpa stoppe to pray
I know I've never see him cry
In all my 15 years
BUt as he said these words to her
His eyes fill up with tears
Between now and then
till I see you again
I'll loving you
Love me
i skated in the lonely world ...quiet and undisturbed at
3:50 AM
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