Saturday, January 28, 2006
It was a devastating news,
I knew it would happen one day....
But no so soon.
It have been one month since we last said goodbye,
How could she just carry on her life like this.
The night when it all ended Jan - 09,2006
She had cried herself hoarse.
Yes, It was my fault, If i really love her i wouldnt do this to her.
From that very moment, i knew we could never be back together again.
I know i could never face her again.
We met at her fav hang out 2 days after the broke up,
she totally change like a complete stranger.
My heart riot for her when she is not home till next morning.
I was just a nobody in her heart, it doesnt matter to her.
I went to her place for a few time, trying to see how is she doing.
When she is sick, i couldnt be the one there for her.
She doesnt wanna to to msg me or ever receive my call,
probably this is the only way to get away from me.
Fine, by all means the turth is, deep down, I cared.
We exchange a few polite"Hi, How are you?"greeting.
For the first time in 3years ,we were so formal to each other.
No more "hi darling" or " love you darling"
It was bizarre
Yet it never escaped me that she done it for good.
Ours was like a mirror shattered to a thousand pieces, damage complete.
Soon i guess we will lost touch again.
I wouldnt know whether she missed me,
but i thought of her alot.
Like when i ride xiao hong to work,
When i am home with shannon,
When i hit on my bed each night,
And when i travelled alone.
I used to cry, but not for this moment
But memories of me and her flash back through my mind.
I i couldnt hold back sometimes and i broke down to cry.
I guess she should be living happily without me around,
No more burden to carry around.
I know sooner or later i will break her heart,
And on the day i decided to tell her the truth i have never expect her forgiveness.
It was the final nail in the coffin, must well let her know the truth.
Knowing her so well that she will hate me, I wouldnt want to hold on for long
But i still wouldnt be gracious enough to say she deserves someone better.
Neither will i be crazy enough to call her for another chance.
I no longer have a place in her heart,
whether i cry or die, her life so goes on as usual.
Unaffected
Cry? nah... no more crying , i wan her to know that i am strong
Scream? No point no one care
Hide? what for? is a way of showing i am a crowad
I have to move on my life
I have to accept the painful truth,tuck it under my pillow and live my life
It all started from me, i have to face the fact that she is out of my life.
I thought of our happy moments, our 1st trip to bangkok
our first month together, the art pieces that she drew for me.
The book of love that i gave her, all this things is still left in my heart.
I thought of her laughter, Her beautiful eyes and her lovely smile.
I missed her for one last time.
And then slowly i come to grips with the fact that
she is going to sharing her life with someone else.
That book of love that i gave her when we were once together was just a-book
Slowly the pain that i have, start to drift away
And soon it wouldnt hurt anymore
No matter hoe devastating it once was.
i skated in the lonely world ...quiet and undisturbed at
3:04 AM
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