Wednesday, March 30, 2011
I woke up this morning and turn to my right side and said: baby time to wake up, u gonna be late for work!!
Monday, March 28, 2011
I realise that it was just an illusion, there wasn't any of her around. I told myself.. Nightmare again?? I still remember when I was with her some nights I couldn't sleep well, I will wake up with nightmare. Alot time I will dream abt losing her, I will turn to her and hug her tight. This is to reassure that she is still by my side. Till the day I was back alone those nightmare stick with me thru the night. It is just so random but I felt so real.. This was lock in my mind for the day.
i skated in the lonely world ...quiet and undisturbed at
12:12 AM
There are something, somewhere, some smell or some incident that remind u of that special someone..
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
i skated in the lonely world ...quiet and undisturbed at
12:18 AM
Maybe my body language have show others the quiet side of myself, some ppl actually notice there is a slight change in my life after her. Ppl will suddenly concern more abt my life, asking what wrong and what happen. Why suddenly i am so down, not so bubbly and active like before. Someone told me this over the weekend: 誰知道美麗燦爛的微笑下 隱藏著不是真正的快樂. I begin to think where did my smile go? where have the laughter gone to?
Friday, March 18, 2011
I dunno, i dunno where did it the smile gone to? I try very hard to find them but it doesnt always last long. Maybe she might have took away some of the smile and i am just back to myself before having her around. The snowman who dun wan to talk much, who trying very hard to learn how to be independent. I begin to tone down and learn how to be independent, the process it really long and hard to cope. It take alot of time and patient to really be independent and when u learn to be be independent meaning u r on ur own. You talk less and you do more.
I visited eggcow over the weekend, beside for not visiting her for the past 3 months i also wanna to talk to her cause i have a bad day. When i wrote her on the stack of eggcow's booklet i thought abt DT, whenever i miss eggcow i will pull her along with me to visit her. She know i value eggcow alot, i will talk non stop abt eggcow. I realise beside eggcow i have other 'frens' who are there too.. it is quite scary to go to this kind of places to visit ur frens, of cause the emo feeling make me cry on the spot.
Sometime i realise that the more u wan to get the things there will always be some problem happen, i begin to learn the i dont care attitude or cant be bother attitude. Doing what i should do and get everything right, no point blaming others. I read this somewhere: Don't get disappointed when God doesnt give you what you want... for he know the best time for you to have..
i skated in the lonely world ...quiet and undisturbed at
1:13 AM
I wish to whisper to your ear and tell u 1 secret.. I miss you!!
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
i skated in the lonely world ...quiet and undisturbed at
3:04 AM
I was browsing my absolut forum and looking through those post that i used to heavily addicted back than in the past... I realise that some most of the collection photos are taken at her place. Those classic blind drop, the chip off table and the nice purple background. Those time which i love to share my absolut happiness with her, when a new bottle arrive i will run toward her and proudly present my absolut for her. To be frank since we last broke up i so call 'stop' collecting absolut for a moment, no more new collection added in. I dunno izzit because i have lost interests in collecting (i doubt so) or maybe no one to share my joy with. I am still very proud to be an absolut collector, just that hope 1 day ppl will be happy whenever they receive the absolut. I guess the only thing so far i am happy is that i finally have done an absolut blog, a blog that it suppose to share it with her. If 1 day we open an absolut cafe that blog will come in handy!
*In an absolut world everyday is a surprise to me, my fav collection*
i skated in the lonely world ...quiet and undisturbed at
11:28 PM
met up with smartpig today, this is always ok as usual just that it is quieter than before. I forgot she got class today but anyway even if she dont have class today she also will not be free to meet. Smartpig miss that sillpig.. she feel sad when that sillypig dont even wan to reply her msg. Anyway i dont know what wrong with her, maybe she is really just busy. Today i wasnt in the mood to eat so didnt really take much food, i talk more than i eat :)
Thursday, March 10, 2011
We walk the the singapore river just the 2 of us talking endlessly, talk my 'heart' out and crap alot of joke just like the good old days. To us we still living in the old office moment, still talking abt how we know each other, how was thing like before and now. At 1 moment as we walk together i realise i see sillypig in her, certain things smartpig do will remind me of her. Of cause she still on and off talk abt sillypig...
I am tired of being a nice snowman, i dont wish to be santa claus anymore.. always give and never receive. I am trying to learn to be selfish, learning the cant be bother skill. What is given i will take, what is provided i will learn to give back. Well still got abt 1month to go before my next holiday and 5months to go before the next piggy holiday (that if it is successful) whatever it is just let it be.
i skated in the lonely world ...quiet and undisturbed at
1:08 AM
I found peace over here, i wish i could see this beautiful sunrise with you. I wish that morning i have you around me to go through this lovely and unforgettable morning. I have bought so many ppl around the world to see the beautiful nature and i do i hope i can bring u along to some place where we can find peace at heart.
Monday, March 07, 2011
I dont claim that this photo is prefect but in the fact it give me disappointment cause it is not something that up to my standard. While i was capturing that moment i thought abt u, my heart just tell my mind that i miss u. I know i have no place near ur heart so i will just keep this feeling close to me. Sometime 1 day when we are really in talking term, we might just take these out and laugh abt it. 
(16Dec 0542hrs, sunrise)
i skated in the lonely world ...quiet and undisturbed at
12:22 AM
today was abit not myself, maybe is monday blue... I have been quite emo / bad mood since morning.. cause i was at some place where me and her used to spend alot of time at. I try not to think abt it, try not to put any emo to it but still i fail. The feeling that both of us have is getting colder and colder... maybe to the extend that she cant be bother abt me. I am also tired of keeping asking her to meetup cause end of the day i will still get 1001 excuses for not meeting up. I thought i could slowly get over this stupid issue but i realise the more i keep saying that i want to do it the more i still stuck here. I never blame her, i never wan to bring up anything, i just want to let it be this way.
Friday, March 04, 2011
Airline called me up today abt the air ticket that i bought for her, i dunno how to bring it up to her. I dont have much time left but still i am afraid to ask cause i am afraid of facing rejection. I always save the prefect holiday for the one i love and i have save that 'prefect' holiday for her. As long as she say YES no matter what i will bring her go. There are not much time left for me to do alot of things, just doing things which i feel happy abt it. There are so many joy and sorrow that i wish to spend it with her, sometime i wish to just give her a call to say HI. I dont have the courage to do so.. cause whenever i hear her voice or see her voice the 'feeling' will haunt me again.
Whenever i see her so tired i feel so heartpain, i wish to lend her my shoulder to lean on. I wish to ask greenie to send that tired pig back hm... there are so many thing that i wish to do whenever she needed somebody or something. I only can do that much, that little much that i hope she can feel it. If she need somebody i promise i will always be there, all the time! I wish that i could see that big dee smile again... listen to that trademark laughter... and doing tickle me dee again...
I am tired of the fast pace life.. looking back at my life i realise that i have been living the same way for the past 8yrs. I have been so busy in the hotel and travel industry for the past 8yrs. I feel that is time for me to slow down and live a simple life... a life that you just want spend your quiet moment with that someone. I start to learn how to be introvert and independent. I trying to adapt the feeling of being alone and the feeling of not talking for 8hrs.
i skated in the lonely world ...quiet and undisturbed at
7:06 PM
I feel that cold feeling coming back to me again... This feel is so cold that I can't feel my own heartbeat.. Even we are I'm the same lift that feel second I realize that we r jus like total stranger.. My heart used to react to u whenever I am near u but Now it seem to be like that cold feeling have freeze that heart.. It doesn't feel like pumping for u anymore. Have I done anything to u that make u want to avoid me again?? Did my usual self make u upset again?? Or have I being to over 'friendly' that u dunnno what to do??
Wednesday, March 02, 2011
I know I must learn to be independent and shld not bother u at all abt my personal life.. That y something I dont even wan to share cause I will think again.. Will u really care.. After leaving u I realize that actually I am not as independent as I thought. Maybe in the past I walk too fast.. My walk of life is on fast pace that u couldnt catch up with me.. Now I am so tired of running, I have slow down my pace and waitin for ur return..
i skated in the lonely world ...quiet and undisturbed at
2:45 AM
沒有了你 我的世界失去了顏色 一切玩樂只能讓我逃避 暫時麻痺 卻無法像你一樣讓我真正的快樂 都過多少日子了 還總是在半夜時分喚著你的名字醒來 才發現醒不來的噩夢 是你真的已經不在身邊... 你告訴我我需要的是時間 時間只能只痛卻止不了對你的渴 不是不能重新活著 但是沒有好好把握你的遺憾 我知道我會一直抱到老了 還是後悔著
____________________________________________
最怕空气突然安静
最怕朋友突然的关心
最怕回忆突然翻滚
绞痛着不平息
最怕突然听到你的消息
想念如果会有声音
不愿那是悲伤的哭泣
事到如今
终于让自已属于我自已
只剩眼泪还骗不过自己
突然好想你
你会在哪里
过的快乐或委屈
突然好想你
突然锋利的回忆
突然模糊的眼睛
我们像一首最美丽的歌曲
变成两部悲伤的电影
为什么你
带我走过最难忘的旅行
然后留下最痛的纪念品
我们那么甜那么美那么相信
那么疯那么热烈的曾经
为何我们
还是要奔向各自的幸福
和遗憾中老去
突然好想你
你会在哪里
过的快乐或委屈
突然好想你
突然锋利的回忆
突然模糊的眼睛
最怕空气突然安静
最怕朋友突然的关心
最怕回忆突然翻滚
绞痛着不平息
最怕突然听到你的消息
最怕此生已经决心自己过
没有你却又突然
听到你的消息
i skated in the lonely world ...quiet and undisturbed at
11:06 PM
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