Do you remember how was our honeymoon period like before and after we gotten together? The love letter that we used to send via email, the special hand made gifts that we made for each other, The time that we talk under the moonlight, stare at the bling bling spider webby snowflake that was hanging over at your room light. I still remember the time that i on my family vacation, i was like not really keen to go. Because i realise that i have been falling in love with you day by day.. when i am back realise that u did a silly mistake by waiting for me at the airport but head home at the end of the day without me. That lock my heart for sure that you are the person that i want to spend my life with. I am unsure about the answer, i am unsure how will you feel when i told you the truth about my feeling for you.

When i reach your place realising that you are pretending sleeping(crying) that soften my heart to look into you and curiously wanna to know you better. I tell myself, this girl is special, she is someone who is innocent about love. Someone who shower me with unconditionally love and hide herself alone when she dont want to share. I dont come with the intention of getting into a r/s with you, just wanna to be there for you when you needed a talking pal. We share alot of things that night, comfortably we cuddle ourself together. I check my heart again and it is pumping for you and to make things not so ugly i keeping asking those assummption qus to reasure that i am on the right track. After a long talk and opening our heart i finally told the courage to ask you to be my gf. My thinking was nah.. this girl sure reject me la.. she make herself clear that she will not get into this kind of r/s. To my surpise this is not her answer, i also dont know why i was being choosen but i never thought abt it so much.

I wasnt quite confident in our r/s because she is very close to alot of guys and also she have been really busy with her own stuffs and neglect me quite often during our honeymooon period. Since she is not active in doing her part than is my job as a gf to do my part. I find time to spend with her, take care of her and surpise her with all my love. Never for 1 moment i will stop loving her or stop thinking abt her, it is like she is inside me. We starting quarrel abt this r/s over and over again.. i cried and cried over again and again.. this change her mind and build our r/s stronger and stronger. Athought we dont know what is gonna happen after our 'promise' but that point of time i never wish this 59 days will come..

Maybe i dont know her enough that why end of the day we will just be quarrelling everyday. Being a 'perfect' gf is not easy or protecting her from being hurt is even more hard. Maybe having her started in this r/s make her lost confident in all other r/s in future (dunno abt current one) but i am sure if she is able to pick up this new r/s so fast there must be some good points abt this guy.

Yes she claim that she is happy, i dunno she is happy anot. I hope and guess so. Being in a r/s is not easy trust and understanding is the most impt point abt r/s. I just hope she is not hurt by that guy (in whatever way), if he did it will cause further damage to her thinking abt love. I can claim myself being trueful and faithful toward this 1.5yr r/s. Everytime i say I love You, i mean it from the bottom from my heart. I wish that i can still say the endless I love You(colorful) to you. I wish that we still can share the silly jokes again and just laugh our heart out.

Why i keep asking whether she is happy anot?? i dunno it is just a feeling telling me that she is not as happy as she is with me. Maybe i just think too much and having too much assume. She have been spending less time in class, maybe is busy with work. It is hard for her to balance her sch, work and love life together. I wish that i could be there for her all the time when she is feeling low, sad, tired or insecure. I wish I can give her big snowman's hug to hug all her worries away. I know i cant do it now and i will never do it again.

Everytime she say she is not ready to talk/meet izzit because she think i might bring up the past again or there is still a inner soul inside her that leave that feeling inside her. To me everyday i still think abt her, epecially when i am on my way home or passing by her home. Alot of time i wish to ask her out for a chat but i couldnt take the courage or maybe an excuse to ask her out. If you ask me whether i gotten over her, deep down side i will say no. I am in prcoess of letting go bit by bit, this baby step created alot of fall for me. I pick up myself again and again to walk through this alone.

If we ever have a chance will we be good friend again? She used to ask me before after loving her deep will i 1 day dont love her again? The answer is i will only stop loving you when you have stop loving me. Which is = to now!!


What can I do, to make you mine
Falling so hard so fast this time
What did I say, what did you do?
How did I fall in love with you?
What can I do, to make you mine
Falling so hard so fast this time
Everything's changed, we never knew
How did I fall, in love, with you?

i skated in the lonely world ...quiet and undisturbed at 12:34 AM