Happy Birthday DT!!!!!

Today is DT bday, i did not celebrate with her. I knew it long ago that her big day will be pack and other frens will have plentyful of surpises for her. To me she is at the top of my world, bought her present long ago, add on surpise present was a last min but really hard to get and lastly not forgetting the all time fav 15 stalks of red roses. I am glad she like the present although i know she have alot of bag... but this is something that she like so luckily i manage to buy the last one in singapore. I didnt get to spend a moment with her, by the time i got to her place it is already past midnight. She is busy with her stuffs and of cause tired since she woke up early today.

I was at natas working my weekend out... suddenly i just thought of someone that someone who i always get jealous whenever he is with DT. I also dont know why i thought of him too.. maybe now DT and I are no longer togther and stupidly i just have a thought that this a possiblility between them. I know it is silly to think this way and i used to ask DT before whether is he interested in her. I seldom get jealous but i dont know why i feel 'threat' when he is around. I guess DT is more focus on study and work now than anything. We did make a promise that she will tell me if she really found that someone. I guess at this moment i only can be her 'guardian angel' to 'secretly' take care of her. I am not a selfish person but when it come to r/s i am quite selfish, i know we are not together already so she have the freedom of choice. I just hope that end of the day she will be just honest with me whether we are together anot.

I dont know what and how the future will be like, will there be a 1% possible that we will be back together again? Will she be the one who i can spend the rest of my life with? Can she still be there for me when i need someone to comfort after a long day at work? Someone who hug me tight when i am sad? Someone who i can complain to when the whole world bully me? Someone who can do everything together with me? I always wanna to have a 'honeymoon' holiday with that someone special one but who will make this come true? Our Absolut Cafe that we used to dream of, will it be happening in future? So many ???? in my mind, i cant answer all of them. Have my krama debt finish paying already? Do i still have alot of these to repeat & repay? Can someone guide me through this?


心若倦了,
泪也乾了,
这份心情,
难舍难了。

曾经拥有,
天荒地老,
已不见你,
暮暮与朝朝。

这一份情,
永远难了,
愿来生还能,
再度拥抱。

爱一个人,
如何斯守到老,
怎样面对一切,
我不知道。

回忆过去,
痛苦的相思忘不了,
为何你还来,
拨动我心跳。
爱你怎么能了,
今夜的你应该明了,
缘难了情难了。

i skated in the lonely world ...quiet and undisturbed at 2:06 AM