Friday, June 27, 2008
Can we start all over again? This phase sound so like me, it sound like i had just say it someone recently. I was shoot by this phase today and of cause it's not a shocking moment to me, i expect this phase from that person and i am prepare to answer it. I still stay firm and say no cause we no long have this thingy call love, no matter what you do nothing can mend back the broken heart that you once broke it. It take time to heal and also getting over such incident, well soon when the person drift away and you will longer find that person important to you.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
I was abit affected by the incident since afternoon but i tell myself that i am done so much and walk so far, if i turn back again and walk the same road from the start then all my effort will gone to waste all these while. I hold tight on the rope and make sure i am on the right track and wouldnt fall back again. My work load is in the mess my boss seriously is SUPER UNHAPPY about me behaving like that. This month i am totally not on the right track for my job, i am there but my mind is somewhere out there like a wonder soul. I am lost i need help, i feel like call 'her' and talk to her but knowing that she had just found her colors i dont want to disturb her again.
Well i am so look forward to 1st july this special date will decide alot of things in my life, it will greatly affect my future and hopefully everything will go through smooth. I am on full pack that day, 730am having my cl2 bike exam (crossing my finger to pass), send my bike for inspection, visit huiting (didnt do that since she left us), medi follow up at CGH(cross my finger that doctor dont ask go for opreation), back home and bring shannon for a walk. So many happening things happen on that day and i am seriously praying that all my wish will just come true. I miss your belonging, miss those time when i needed help you are just 1 phone call away. I miss you simple msg that can bright up my day, i miss you sweet lovely voice that keep running thtough my mind . I just simply miss you.
i skated in the lonely world ...quiet and undisturbed at
12:27 AM
If I had another chance tonight
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Id try to tell you that the things we had were right
Time cant erase the love we shared
But it gives me time to realize just how much you cared
Now youre gone, Im really not the same
I guess I have myself to blame
Time cant erase the things we said
But it gives me time to realize that youre the one instead
You know I wont hold you back now,
the love we had just cant be found
You know I cant hold you back now
Now that Im alone it gives me time
To think about the years that you were mine
Time cant erase the love we shared
But it gives me time to realize just how much you cared
i skated in the lonely world ...quiet and undisturbed at
11:09 PM
Recently have been really busy with my Starbucks marketing project haiz.. staying up really late at night till like 4-5am and the latest record was 630am. I hardly get enough sleep and got to drag myself up for work everyday, my boss is quite unhappy with it as i look really tired out and also my work production are not doing well too. I guess instead of putting all the effort in relationship it's time to put them all into my study plus career. I promise someone that i will complete and pass all my subject since that person do put alittle of hope in it and of cause not to give more disappointment.
Friday, June 20, 2008
Talk to ashley recently on msn this poor boy got into a relationship that he hate to be in, the bf love him but have a unfinish relationship with his ex and his ex come and find trouble with ashley and more... Well he is a damn bitch who dont think that he is wrong in relationship and always want ppls to suit his way and he wouldnt understand how others want the relationship to work it out.
I was looking through some photo after transfering all my data into my new laptop, so good memories flash back my mind and of cause all these precious moment come with lotz of laugher and tear. Things change everyday, weather do changes everyday, sometime when people tell me i dont really change i still stick to my old habits but i guess it's the feeling that change. I was just flashing back my memories on this person and realise that how much she have change for the past it, she change to be like someone different, someone so strange that i dont ever remember knowing her. The ' relationship' we have now is just now 10yrs ago after a great misunderstanding that i have with her and we didnt talk for like 4yrs later. Well she started out calling me 1st and still i move on from there. Time really past fast it's 10yrs already so many things happened here and there, kind of feel old after all these just like watching tv drama. I just hope that 10yrs later the person who i feel strange now will be back to the same one as i know 10yrs ago, i just miss the wide lovely unforgettable smile and the loud giggle laugher.
"You make me wanna call you in the middle of the night.
You make me wanna hold you till the morning light.
You make me wanna love, you make me wanna fall.
You make me wanna surrender my soul.
I know this is a feeling that I just cant fight.
You're the first and last thing on my mind.
You make me wanna love, you make me wanna fall.
You make me wanna surrender my soul."
i skated in the lonely world ...quiet and undisturbed at
1:13 PM
I think we've been here before
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
I recognize this place
I've seen the marks of confusion
wipe out a single sign of grace
And I don't want to play anymore
Not when the stakes are so high
So before we circle round once more
I'm gonna lay down,
Lay down my pride
Let it go, let it be
Don't waste all your emotion on this
tit-for-tat machine
Let it go, let it be
I turn on the TVand it screams out at me
Nothing seems to have changed
since the start of Adam and Eve
So we're waiting for the sky to fall
and we're buying brand new toys
But before we circle round once
can we lay down
Just lay down this pride
Let it go, let it be
Don't waste all your emotion on this
i skated in the lonely world ...quiet and undisturbed at
3:09 AM
Sometimes i realise we do treat certain people in a different way, certain people entitle certain benefit and certain people dont. We select people to talk to and to mix around with and sometime i think we are just being judgemantal. Well i mean sometime we cant judge things by her outlook and sometime outlook may cause misjudgement too. I guess this is how we think and look at the person and also base on what kind of relationship that you have with her.
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Well after 4yrs of putting my name on the 'list' today i realise that i have been remove by her from that 'list'. Being say is unfair is no point because there is no reason for me to support the unfair that i am facing with. I guess she just dont want any misunderstanding between me and her gf and of cause i dont think she want her gf to know about me as well. This time round she will talk about k instead of me and i dont ever know soon after will she still remember me anot.
whenever we are attach why must we clear off the past and start everything new, dont there is something meaningful for us to remember? I mean cant we treat that as memory of both of us, i guess it's kind of pity when broken up come along. 90% of the couples dont stay as friends after they broken up and the main reason is because they dont see the point to stay on as friend when sometime we have to take the person problem again and again.
Maybe this is life when they are with us we dont cherish then when we make mistake and when it is gone then we realise that the mistake is so big that no matter what you do cant pay that off. What is the point of blaming ourselves when in the 1st place people do advice you before, human nature is like that we dont learn our lesson until it happen. Well still i want to say that it's being unfair for her just to list me out from her list, well i mean cant she just remain as it is since i didnt actually talk about her directly. I doubt her gf know i am sn0wman so why does she want to avoid or prevent it, i see that icon almost everyday and suddenly it just went missing it look really weird on the blog. Well you may hate me for all the reason that you can list but you cant doubt me as a friend cause i keep and fufil my promises all the time, i might not be faithful but aleast i give unconditionally love. I hope the next time i visit your blog things do change and dont disappoint me please, i wish things was as happy as usual.
不要哭了嘛
该哭的人是我吧
你都坦白爱上了他
我有什么办法我...
也同意啦既然你提出想法
我们不要拖拖拉拉
就从明天开始吧
那就这样吧
再爱到曲终人散啦
那就分手吧
再爱都无须挣扎
不要再问我怎舍得拱手让他
你走吧到了记得要给我通电话
那就这样吧再爱都要sayonara
再给抱一下闻一闻你的长发
不要再哭啦快把眼泪擦一擦
这样吧再爱我有缘的话
快去把东西收拾一下
再耗下去都天亮啦
这里的钥匙你先留着吧
怕你有东西假如你有东西忘了拿
i skated in the lonely world ...quiet and undisturbed at
1:04 AM
Sometime when i realise part of the reason why you cant get over your partner is because almost everyday or every week you have been with her and suddenly your daily routine just stop and you dont know how to move on. It's kind of funny when you wake up the next morning realising that the person who you gave your morning kiss to is no longer there. The person who you always say good morning is not longer there as well, suddenly your world just turn grey because what you used to have is longer the same as usual anymore. No matter how much you do everything doesnt change the fact the she have left you already.
You didnt realise the importantness until her life is being take care by someone else, you didnt know how attractive she is until you lost her. Well in life we are blinded by something when that speical one came along we dont treasure then when we lost them then we start to realise. I guess it's all about how to look into things in different way, i believe since relationship is broken up no matter how much we hangover it things will still remain the same. If she is meant to be with you end of the day after all the thin and thick you will still be together with her.
Well as i am blogging right now i actually thinking of someone that someone that i didnt expect to that i will think of. Well It's K hmmm... wondering how does she cope her life now izzit happily ever after with her new gf or izzit like me going through those heart aching moment that i used to do so. Well if you happen to read this just a piece of advice to you, i know is hard to move on and of cause i didnt move on as well ever since you came along in her life. Well but now she is already moving on and what you can do is to give your happiness to her and just let the other person to take care of her. In the past i am not gentleman enough to say that she deserve someone better then me but after lotz of thinking i realise yes such a good girl deserve someone better then me. She is not here to love me and waiting for me to break her heart, she is here to love me and being pamper as well. I fail my task and i know she wouldnt take the risk again with me so what is the point of hang on to it when she is happily with someone else.
All i can say now is i being to move on and of cause i guess there is still different treatment between me and that someone but still i dont want to step into her comfort zone if she meant to meet me up or talk to me she will respone to me. I guess it take time to recover on all these, i hope this time round she dont step into the wrong relationship again. Mr Right please take care of this tofu bao... very farglie please hand with care, good luck to that diva and please update us on your loving relationship.
Since you left me
My life ain't been the same
I'm useless without your love
I'm calling, crying out your name
But when I look around
Your love is nowhere to be found
Please come back to me
Baby, you know you're my everything
Who will love me and who will care
Who will be there when I need someone for me
Who will be there to dry my eyes
When I fall down on my knees
Will I hear you say
Wherever you go
Whatever you do
You know I'm waiting
You know I'll never leave
Whatever it takes
Whatever's at stake
Just know I love you
And know I'll be right here
And no matter what it takes
I'll be waiting here for you always
Goodbye is such a hard thing to say
When you're all I know
When you're my everything
And who will stay and care for me
When you're gone, I'll be all alone
Who will care and comfort
And fulfill my needs
I've got to know
All my life I've waited for someone like you
So please don't say it's over
Don't tell m
eThis just can't be true
Please don't leave me
Don't walk away
You know your love is something I can't do without
So whatever it takes
Or how much my heart aches
You know I'll always be around
i skated in the lonely world ...quiet and undisturbed at
11:22 PM
10years of friendship
Monday, June 09, 2008
3years of countship
1year of quarrel
3years of waiting
keychain
photos
letters
presents
bed sheets
pig tissues box
t-shirt
lego
xiao hong
watches
perfumes
ring
*seal it with a kiss & keep it in my heart*
i skated in the lonely world ...quiet and undisturbed at
2:22 AM
Finally after 3.5yrs of waiting i decided to let things go cause to prevent further damange this will be a good choice for both of us. I tired so many time, all kind of ways but still nothing can change her mind. It's over after 10yrs of friendship, 3yrs of countship and 3.5yrs of breakup... i guess she is tired and me too. I dont want her to be sad and being pester by me so letting go perheps is a good choice, it have been so long since i see her grin so widely in a relationship. I feel that this person she is with now will treat her much better and love her more then i do.
Wednesday, June 04, 2008
I dont actually believe that what we have was fate i just simply thought that it was just coincidence but time after time we have met each other at all those places that we never thought of, weird hours that nobody will believe it and the best thing is we dont meet each other just once sometime few times in a month. Frankly speaking i have rarely met my exs after we broke up and talk about few times in a month even more rare but i just dont understand why we meet each other all day long.
Time after time we have talk things out and she have make herself very clear that things are impossible between us, my stubborness still stay on and fright for my rights. I am not sure whether does she fall in love so quickly because she found the right one or she just want to proof something to us. I just dont want her to be hurt again, time after time i dont know how much longer she have to suffer but I really hope that her bad karma have paid off everything she owe let her enjoy her love life for once.
I guess i must be out of my mind to say all these to someone that i love the most in my life.... what a joke!!!! Actually since that day i know something was wrong before i go japan and i have already make up my mind if this time she is attach again i should give her my full blessing. I am trying so ya it take time ok. It's quite a surpise that i never bother to ask much about her currently relationship or even bother to break them up, I mean whatever is over let it be over the more we hump on the issue the more things will turn out to be more ugly. Cath always said that if she is meant to be friend no matter how much to tried it will still be the same, what is yours will natural come back to you in the end. So let bygones be bygones, and I guess she is happy right now.
I plan so much and of cause plan still want the plan to goes on as usual well but got to edit certain things if she is still attach with that person. Relationship is so funny someone when you dont want it to come to you it will just natural turn out to be there for you. If you really love someone will you want to have her by your side ever she dont love you anymore or will you let her go and be happy. Will you be gentleman enough to say that yes she deserve someone better then me or will you be selfish enough to say no she is mine no matter what.
Sometime trust is no longer an issue it's all about how much you can commit into that relationship you have with that person. Those vows or promises that you made before you start of, those things that you wanna to fufill to her. If i still giving a chance again i didnt regret to choose you in the 1st place, if i have a choice again i wouldnt choose to cheat you. If giving a chance i will still choose you to be my love of the lifetime. I hope you are happy i give you my full blessing for now, i got a strong feeling that she can take good care of you.
PS: I am always here for you anytime when you want to talk, i might not be a prefect lover but i am sure i that i am a prefect listener. Take care darling, you are on your own now be strong and never drop your precious tears for someone who dont deserve it.
他不爱我
牵手的时候太冷清
拥抱的时候不够靠近
他不爱我
说话的时候
不认真
沉默的时候又太用心
我知道他不爱我
他的眼神说出他的心
我看透了他的心
还有别人逗留的背影
他的回忆清除的不够乾净
我看到了他的心
演的全是他和她的电影
他不爱我尽管如此
他还是赢走了我的心
i skated in the lonely world ...quiet and undisturbed at
2:04 PM
Does everyone always live in delimma or izzit only me, the world keep on spinning non stop everything but yet i here i am still leaving in the past and choose not to move on. I know exectly what is happening, i know exectly how will be the ending like but i just simply choose to avoid it and pretend that nothing happened.
Sunday, June 01, 2008
I always think trust is always an issue in my relationship but today i finally learn something new it's call commitment and trust have never exist at all. If trust is reliable then human love relationship will actually get more mutual instead of seeing so many breakup. In life we always say we trust this we trust that but if there are really trust then why do we have to sign agreement contact for business, why do we have to doubt on our partner, we pretend sometimes and sometimes we also have to do some white lie to them. It's all about how much you want to commit into the relationship, if we dont commit then there actually not form of trust or liability at all.
We can say so much we love our partner and so much we willing to do for them, but end of the day how many of us actually full commit into that relationship. I always have the small little prefect dream thinking that me and you will be the most happiest and prefect couple on earth. I guess this prefect dream will just stay on as dream it will never come true, well perhaps this is karma and now is my turn to bear with it. The time is up the final nail have hit on me this time to not to stay on anymore, how things gonna be like i really dont know. I dont wish to destroy the prefect picture of you in the heart but your action tell me that i should do it. You are the person i planning to commit for the lifetime but your heart no longer there, if they do they will actually come back to me long ago.
P.S: I know you are happy and i hope you are always happy. I am always here to share you diffcult time and i am always there for you.
From this day, I swear, my love will be good to you
Into your eyes, I vow, that I will take care of you
From now on, for life, I promise to see you through
Side by side, hand in hand, you know I am here for you
As I gaze upon my mind, thinkin' 'bout the times we had
When we were only just friends
Nothin' else has touched my life, the way your lovin' has
That's why I never have strayed from the thought
When I told you, I loved you
Those three words, would always be there from the start
And I promise, 'til the end of time
That all your love, forever will stay in my heart
You know I used to play around, never thought of settling down
But that was then, this is now
Baby now I realize, that love was always around
But I just couldn't see it somehow
When you told me, you loved me
I knew those words, were comin' straight from the heart
Now I promise, 'til the end of time
Nothin' in this world, willl ever keep us apart
Baby see, I'm in love with you
And the love in me's, got me wantin' you
Stay with me baby, all your life
i skated in the lonely world ...quiet and undisturbed at
12:29 AM
I was never meaning to do it, how could I ever be so foolish,
To throw away what was proven, never really thought about living a life without her,
Theres no excuse coz I knew it, and now im starting to lose it,
I'm becoming unravelled and fluid, I would do anything to have never put you through that,
But its too late now, now I ask myself why?
Did I not believe you,And im feeling way down, coz im thinking about the days and the life
I was seeing you,
If I could turn back the hands of time baby
I’d rewind every clip of you,
I would of never lied to ya tears in my eyes for ya,
I no that I should of cherished you,
I look at my life in a different light and
i've got to change coz it just aint right,
Wanna turn back time, wish I could turn back time,
Now that im looking back on the other days
I realise precious time is slippin away,
you never knew just what would become of me
I wasn’t half of the man I was s’pose to be,
and it hurts to even think of myself,
what I did and how I did and if
I woulda shoulda taken back all the pain and
i'd be good to ya what have
I gotta do to bring me back to you
And now I close my eyes and I drift away on a place where
i'll reflect on a major space,
Every mention of my life’s only what I pray for,
to be blessed with you once more
i skated in the lonely world ...quiet and undisturbed at
12:19 AM
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