* sweet dreams * i am in d r e a m l a n d `

i wore my skating shoes... and skated alone...lost in dreams...

Thursday, June 30, 2005

The feeling of riding on the road at 120km/hr to me use to be was nothing, but nowaday there is actually fear in my heart i really dunno why. I think is nowaday cars driver are F**K up lor cause they dunno wat is the cost like for koncking down someone on the road. They thought that leave the shit for other ppls will do haiz... they hurt all the rider to meet God early and yet they dun feel guilty abt wat happen at all. I really dun understand why man, they can put themselves into our shoes, like wat if the rider happen to be his/her children how will she feel man. I really pity those ppls that lost there children recently at sure a young age. White hair ppls sent off Black hair ppls haiz... pity pity, i hope that all this U.G.L.Y think wouldnt happen so many time ah...

Today is my dearest hubby's birthday (Ashley) hahahaha.... i really miss him man well he is turning 22nd on the 30june hahaha... well but hor is brain only contain 2yrs old of info damn forget for and only good at dreaming. His this year birthday dream was to earn 10k per mth in 5yrs times hahaha... wat a power of dream hor. Well jus now i was jus teasing him that wat if 5yrs later i decide to make him my real husband will his wan me. I was very happy that he say he will BUT... he must earn 10k per mth first haiz.... damn idiot rite, nvm i got his month as my supporter as his mama like me hahaa... so he can run man. Ashley Chiam 5yrs later u better get ready a Wedding Ring k hahaha... i will remember u hor. We set this promise on ur birthday ah... so 5yrs later if either 1 or us is not marry this wish have to come turn ah.... ONce again hubby happy 22nd birthday to u next time than we go back conrad buy chocolate royal cake k.

i skated in the lonely world ...quiet and undisturbed at 1:39 AM

Saturday, June 25, 2005

A voice from a child who are living in a prison

My life is a prison,

Oh God let me out.

No one to listen,

To hear when you shout.

Used to wish for a window,

To see birds, trees and sky,

But you're better without one

Stops you aiming too high.

Watching freedom is painful,

For those locked away.Seeing joy,

love and happiness,

Another price that you pay.

Hide the pain, carry on,

Routine is the key.

Don't let on that you're not,

What you're pretending to beI wish I could get help,

I wish it would go away.

Maybe if I keep praying real hard,

it will some day I speak in silence hoping that someone will see my words,

the message...the tears...from a child who are living in a prison.

i skated in the lonely world ...quiet and undisturbed at 2:24 AM

Thursday, June 16, 2005

Do u remember when is the last time u have a dinner with your family?

Dou remember when is the last time u last when to church?

Do u remember when is the last timeu read a bible?

Do u remember when is the last time u get drunk after clubbing?

DO u remember when is the last time u ate you most fav foods?

Do u remember when is the last time u say I Love You to your love ones?

Do u remember when is the last time you say singapore national anthem?

Do u remember when is the last time you take a public transport?

Do u remember when is the last time you do a sport or play a game?

Do u remember when u last write a mail to a friend?

Do u remember when is the last time you been overseas?

DO u remember when is the last time u when to airport?

Do u remember when is the last time u buy a gift for someone?

Do remember when is the last time u havc to nice with you family member?

There are so many unanswered answer well recently i have been quite busy with my work due to school holiday haiz... whenever i sell my product to a family i ever think of when will be my turn to buy the product for my family. I mean going overseas to me or my family is a comman thing but do u know that i dun really often travel with a complate family due to my dad is quite with work. I mean it doesnt really dun make a different lor but still i jus feel sad when i see ppls go overseas with the complate kind of family haiz....

I mean there is alot of things i wan to do everyday but time is so limit for me, it only allow me to spend alittle bit of time with my family members. I mean i dun really meet them is the day time only at night when i am home everyone was asleep haiz... so in the fact we hardly talk up to 100 words a day. I really feel damn guilty lor due to my nature job scope that i choose i have to give up 70% of my time.

I really cant remember when is the last time i had my home cook foods, i cant remember when is the last time i bought my dog out for a work, i cant remember when is the last time i have a good talks with my mum. I most bad about everything is i cant remember when is the last time i go church or spend QT with God. Haiz... i think i really have to do some soul seach man.

I am quite happy that recently i am able to meet up with some of my fren well also never fail to meet up liqing as she come back for london hahaha... holiday break she so good life hor.

I really hope that after this school holiday i am able to spend sometimes with the important ppls that i should meet up.

i skated in the lonely world ...quiet and undisturbed at 12:41 AM

Saturday, June 11, 2005

I am not in a really good mood today i got fine for parking haiz... really feel so sian my fine was $70 bucks haiz... kao.. really so damn broke liao so wan to fine me. i really dunno what wrong with me la haiz... every year the 11th june i am always down with luck. I actually got alot of things to say but i dunno how to put them into words it seens to be hard, i really miss those time when i have more freedom haiz... but i am still happy with wan i am having now lor, jus that God is always not on my side. Tml actually is someone who hate me alot the stupid person birthday haiz... i mean it jus happen to ring a bell in my mind no other special idea, i jus feel guilty for wat had happen in the past but still she still hate me. I know i didnt expect her to forgive me but at least dun hate me till the core lor, the feeling for being hate is really shit lor it feel like u had jus kill someone but u r not jail for. I know she is living happily ever after with he love ones liao i also dun wan to involve in her liao, i jus wanna to let her know that i am really sorry for what i have done in the past hope that 1day she could forgive me. I also dun wan to say much cause action is loudly than words anyway, no life is happy with her around, diva is always there for me i am happy with her,she give me light in my life.
I jus wanna to let u ppls know when someone is important to u is still around pls treasure them dun wait till they are gone than u start learn how to treasure and learn for you mistake by than is already too late.

like the way you wanted me
Every night for so long baby
I like the way you needed me
Every time things got rocky
I was believing in you
Am I mistaken do you say,
Do you say what you mean
I want our love to last forever
But I'd rather you be mean than love and lie
I'd rather hear the truth and have to say goodbye
I'd rather take a blow at least then I would know
But baby don't you break my heart slow
I like the way you'd hold me
Every night for so long baby
And I like the way you'd say my name
In the middle of the nightWhile you were sleeping
I was believing in you
Was I mistaken
Do you mean, mean what you say
When you say our love could last forever
Well I'd rather you be mean than love and lie
I'd rather hear the truth and have to say goodbye
I'd rather take a blow at least then I would know
But baby don't you break my heart slow
You would run around and lead me on forever
While I wait at home thinking that we're togetherI wanted our love to last forever
Well I'd rather you be mean than love and lieI'd rather hear the truth and have to say goodbye
I'd rather take a blow at least then I would knowBut baby don't you break my heart slow

i skated in the lonely world ...quiet and undisturbed at 12:51 AM

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

I am so damn tired haiz... got back from work not long ago, have br staying up late lately doing nothing but waiting for the time to pass by so that i can dose off on to my deep bluess bedsheet. I am so bloddy busy at the travel agency lor kao... more busy than conrad haiz... but still i enjoy it la less paperwork more follow up but thr main things is can SLACK hahahaha. I suddenly looking in my old notebook notice that i actally lost contact with alot of ppls haiz... erm... than the sad feeling come into my heart. I also dunno why la but jus that when i look back into the past, it's like a charpter of my life. My life jus like a movie keep on playing till i meet GOD in heaven hahaha.. i jus think that everyday we jus spend our life doing things that we do everyday but have we ever learn something for it or we jus do it for the seek for doing it. I think and think i couldnt get the answer, i dunno wat do i live for everyday, i jus simply do wat i was doing everyday haiz... really sick of it man.

ohhh heaven oh heaven can't you help me?
First time I saw you girlyou turned me upsidedown
I can't stop thinking 'bout youmy head is spinning round
I got to find a wayto get with you somehow
girl i'm so crazy for youyou know I want you now
and every minute of every single day
i'm dreaming of how it could be
and every night before I go to sleep i'm praying
that soon you'll be here with me
Heaven heaven oh heaven can't you help me?
I looked in her eyes now she's all I see
Heaven oh Heaven can't you help?
I'm down on my knees please help me
Can't fall asleep tonight I don't know what to do
I hold my pillow but I wanna be holding you
And when I close my eyesI always see you face
I know my happiness is only a kiss away
and every hour here in the dark
every beat of my lonely heart
Tells me that I need to be with you
Heaven oh Heaven what can I do
Heaven heaven oh heaven can't you help me?
I'll give her my love for eternity
heaven oh heaven can't you help me?
I'm down on my knees please help me

i skated in the lonely world ...quiet and undisturbed at 12:31 AM

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

Haiz... ask u ppls a qus how wouldnt u feel if u drop a $139 item on the street and you saw it but you cant pick it up? I tell u something i really feel deep shit... haiz... can you belive it i drop my levi jean in the mid of the CTE expressway haiz... F.U.C.K MAN!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOST IT, I AM SO DAMN ASS.

I was riding home last nite from diva's home haiz... she told me not to bring so many things back home as my bags is already full, but i dun listen to her advise insisted that i can manage it back home as it's short journey back home. I ignore her comment and left off my with levi, my bag was full so i hand carry it. I tell you yesterday actually was not a good day la something bad happen to me when i was on my way to pick up the diva, "diva u know it but shhhh..." than after that heavy traffic from CBD area to her home . I reach her house feel so dirty and tired than took a 1/2 hour bath *very long never bath for so long liao* than got to go buy dinner with her. I thought that my nightmare was over can go home safely but i was wrong bad kama come back to find me. I should listen to the diva than nothing will happen to my levi and i really feel so fuck up when i saw it landed on the road. I mean i have the urge to get down to take it but it's a CTE expressway i dun wan to see GOD so early ah... haiz... so no choice got to let it go. I was really piss cause i got to spend $$$ to buy that again cause that it's my most fav jean, secondly my bike's chain was giving me alot alot of trouble it get loosen again and i think is beyond cure liao. I got to spend liao 250 bucks together to get them done and the main problem is that i am not working now. I feel so fuck up, why why why why GOD must be me, what i have sone wrong to get all this shit.

I got the chain slove today haiz... my poor LV wallet got a big hole cause i pay 130bucks for nothing. I am really down with money man but luckily and hopefully this luck person will save me cause he is going to take over west <--- my bike. I mean i cant bear to sell it off but i still have to cause going to upgrade too in Aug and curently need money haiz.. so no choice lor. I so wouldnt be able to go for my bike outing liao and haiz... got to back to basic taking public transport haiz... sian sian sian.....

I am starting work tml in the tavel agency hopefully it will be good and i can get my next bike soon ah... haiz... Today is my sister's birthday bought her a chocolate cake wow.... but that was really sweet man.... *yam yam* hahahaha... tml xiao pang will be back from sing actually really cant wait to see her and her bf man!!!!!

i skated in the lonely world ...quiet and undisturbed at 12:10 AM