Saturday, April 30, 2005
Cradle To The Grave
From tha Cradle to the Grave,
life ain't never been easyLiving in the ghetto.
From the cradle to the grave, life ain't never been easyLiving in the ghetto.
June 16, 1971
Mama gave birth to a hell raisin' heavanly son.
See the doctor tried to smack me but I smacked him back,
My first words were "thug for life" and "Papa pass the Mac.
"I'm bustin' on these motha fuckas ballin'
Listen you can hear my mini 14 callin'.
From out the window of my drop top
I got my glock cocked bustin' at niggas when will it stop ?
Now tell me are you scared of the dark?
Can't close my eyes I see visions
And even with this thug livin'will I escape in prison ?
Penitentiary chances was an all day thang
The only way to advance and if you slang
Then you'd better have your nikes on
Cause when we fight it's in the middle of the night with no lights on. Hey!!
There must be a God cause I feel lucky,
Paranoid out my mindthis motha fucka's tryin' to rush me.Am I goin' to jail? Look at me bailin'Commin' out the court house all about mail and bank
Never die be a hustler mothafuckasAnd makin' thugs out you suckas.
From the cradle to the grave.[
From the cradle to the grave, life ain't never been easyLiving in the ghetto. easy
From the cardle to the grave, life ain't never been easyLiving in the ghetto.
From the cradle to the grave since a little bitty childI've been known to get ill and kinda buck wild.Pop pop! just like the part that's in my walk with street talk
I'm runnin' up the block in the dark with less spark.
Survalience on a nigga every day,Waitin' on my daddy just to take his ass away.
Now Mama always workin' tryin' to make ends meet.
So now a young niggas bein' raised by the streets.
And then the on other one that ever showed me love
Was my dope fiend uncle strung out on drugsa striaght thug.
Just me, my mama out here on our ownSo I got two gatts one black and one of chrome.
Now I don't wanna hurt nobody but I must defend mine!It's all the fuck I got so stop and walk a thin line.
Young niggas be brave and keep on thuggin' from the cradle to the grave,
From the cradle to the grave
From the cradle to the grave, life ain't never been easyLiving in the ghetto.
From the cradle to the grave, I'm glad to sayI made it this far.Many G's died hard and all they got was their name here up on a wall.It's sad thinkin' about the timesLife goes on,
I'm steady lost in this land...as the warzone I got no home don't have no friends neither.
It's just me by my lonely so I married my nina.I keeps her wherever I go,
I love my ho.Never leave home with out my sugar.
I'm hafta plug a nigga.Mama told me not to trust no punks,And kick his ass if he lay a hand on me.Since then I been known.Sometimes I think my own self stupid
Cause I stay shootin' at marks,Get twisted up in police reports.Since the cradle,
I've been ungreatful.
My first toy was a gunI got sprung and learn to love weapons.
But now I'm through with money and through with street fame.
Somebody peeled my cap and put me in my grave.
From the cradle to the grave, life ain't never been easyLiving in the ghetto.
From the cradle to the grave, life ain't never been easyLiving in the ghetto.
March 18tha rainy day my mama gave birthTo a baby boy trapped in hell on Earth.
From day one it wasn't fun I never had a crumb.Daddy worked two jobs and Mama won't stop drinkin' rum.
I tried to cope loc but my family's brokeAnd my pocket's short so now I gotta sling dope.In a game filled with pain it's a fuckin' shame,
The white man got a motha fucka slingin' cane.
So now it's on from dusk to dawn I get my serve on.
Always in the spot with my glock slingin' rocks at the rocks.
Shit don't stop I'm steady dodgin' cops.
I never flip flop hear my glock cock thug till I drop.
And if I hit the pen I gotta do my timeSittin' on my bunk reminiscing about the good times.
It's fucked up a nigga gotta grow up doing dirt,
the cradle to the grave, life ain't never been easyLiving in the ghetto.
From the cradle to the grave, life ain't never been easyy Living in the ghetto.
Time's movin' fast will I last another day?So I pray and I lay with my A-K.Did I sell my soul as a young kid?
All the things I didWishin' someone held me but they never did.
I can't take it will I make it to my older age?
Before I'm shot up or locked up in a fuckin' cage.
Lord help me, guide me, save me!Cause that's the way that Daddy raised me crazy.
Do or die. Nigga pull the trigger don't give a fuck.You'd rather be in jail than get your ass bucked.Nobody cares, it's me against the world.
Keepin' murder on my mind and my tech-9.I got nothin' to lose, payin' dues, nigga you wanna die?I get high then my mission is a walk-by.You'd better jet when I hit your set cause I'm commin'.Start runnin' yellin' "evil mind" as I'm gunnin'.
One in the chamber for the anger that I build inside,
For the mothers that cried, for my homies that died.
The begining is an ending, am I just a slave?S
o I got to be brave from the cradle to the grave.
i skated in the lonely world ...quiet and undisturbed at
2:07 AM
7pm in the evening, everything change my life i no long worry about my mama shop again no more mama shop no more late for work, no more nagging for my ah ma, no more doing month end report liao everything is over and over. I feel so useless and shameful of myself, i know you guys are curious why and you wan to know but i catn tell u guy now.
Friday, April 15, 2005
I am feeingl shit, the shitty feeling is so shit that nothing can beats it. I have very long didnt have this kind of rubbish feeling, lotz of noises are everywhere, qus are popping in and out of mine mind and you are running around look for soultion thinking running is the best way to get away with it. I really let down ah ma she really try hard to get me back at work and yet i didnt trasure of wat she given it to me and in the fact i make a fool out of myself.
I really feel so suxkly i wonder wat will life be for me tml, no need to travel to a place where i have been traveling for the pass 2 years, no more morning red bulls and nag from ah ma to tidy up the mama shop. I dun wan this to happen but my most fearful moment had jus happen in the evening.
I couldnt say that she is cruel that she rather see me die then live on, i couldnt say that hubby is selfish cause i know he got bright future, things is i create one i will go solve it myself and ya i ended my journery of life at 8pm. A very unglam farewell, i was no angry with ah ma but holding back my tears before it drop out. I know this day will happen jus soon or later well i didnt expect to be so soon, but still i got a death sentence in my life. I dun see darkness or sunshine my life now should be black&white i guess cause everything seem to be so blindly created for me.
I didnt actually tell this to my mum, not that i dont wan her to worry jus that i dun wan to see her sad over my things she know i am love this place alot and i am leaving now. I wouldnt be able to see much ppls there liao all my effort all these months and years is gone down the drain, my future is ruin by me wow.... so great huh....
I feel so lost now the kind of lost feel is jus losing ur familes member or your beloved one, i mean ya there is nothing good or nice about them for me to miss but i really sadly deep down inside. I cry but it doesnt help and i share my sorrow but still the pinch of pain is inside my heart., wan to forget but i cant. The incident is running and stuck in my mind, i try to way out to hide but still my true is to lie.
When the sky turn darker and darker hour by hour, loneliness is coming closer and closer the cold cold feeling running down your spine give you a gentle reminder that is late at night no piont holding on to wat you cant fright. The winner take it all, the loser live it on so that is life a cold and lonely life, sitting in the dark cosy room flipping through old note and picture. These memories remind you of the happiest moment you once have with them, is over and done nothing from the pass will bring it back to really life.
I wan to say again hubby, ah ma and coconee i am sorry for wat happen well you wouldnt be seeing me nor hear me again once this incident is over. My dear friends out there thank for being there for me when i'm trouble with life, alot of things i cant decide nor agree but in the end i will find the answer cause you guys are there for me. I know that i am childish in alot of way of wat i have done in the past liike i work they and way i understand things, i didnt wan to hurt anyone with an hard feeling that why i am like this, pls forgive me if i am wrong.
Ah ma i really wan to thank you cause you really mae it big part in my life giving me alot alot chance in life, when i am fall you will never fall to pick me up and build up my strength. I know you always think that i am the one who can work but lack for mature, I wan to let you know that you really show me how important i must take my job. The main things is the how to live my life with fufilment.
Hubby, Sorry we have to part each other by now i am really happy that i am with you all the time doing wat a wife should do. I know i may not be the perfect "wife" you have or you met in life but seriously do u know you are the nicest and the cutest hubby that i every had. I really will remember you in my life k, you have to go study better study hard and design good artpieces k. I wouldnt be around by your side anymore no longer having someone that nag at you asking you to stop playing your Ipod or PSP but seriously i really miss you dun ask me why. You must be good k listen and take care of you ah ma and dun be like me, i dont wan to see you joining me cause you got much more things to do in life.
Dear friend. ppls well i am not good with words nothing much i could say, well a full of crap me will write this kind of no IQ or EQ think for you all read liao is a waste of time and your interenet bill. I dunno wat to say also casue a childlish person is usually use action to say wat she wan to say, i dunnno where will i be like in the near future really wish to be back at where at belong again, start afresh with my black marks nor scars. Take care friends.
Life is full of lots of up and downs,
And the distance feels further when you're headed for the ground,
And there is nothing more painful than to let you're feelings take
you down,It's so hard to know the way you feel inside
When there's many thoughts and feelings that you hide,
But you might feel better if you let me walk with you by your side,
And when you need a shoulder to cry on,When you need a friend to rely on,
When the whole world is gone,You won't be alone,
cause I'll be there,I'll be your shoulder to cry on
,I'll be there,I'll be a friend to rely on,
When the whole world is gone,you won't be alone,
cause I'll be there. All of the times when everything is wrong
And you're feeling likeThere's no use going on
You can't give it upI hope you work it out and carry on
Side by side,With you till the endI'll always be the one to firmly hold your hand
no matter what is said or done
our love will always continue on
Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on
everyone needs a friend to rely on
When the whole world is goneyou won't be alone cause
I'll be thereI'll be your shoulder to cry on
I'll be thereI'll be the one you rely on
when the whole world's goneyou won't be alone
cause I'll be there! And when the whole world is gone
You'll always have my shoulder to cry on....
i skated in the lonely world ...quiet and undisturbed at
12:51 AM
When I was a puppy, I entertained you with my antics and made you laugh. You called me your child, and despite a number of chewed shoes and a couple of murdered throw pillows, I became your best friend.Whenever I was "bad," you'd shake your finger at me and ask "How could you?" -- but then you'd relent and roll me over for a bellyrub. My housebreaking took a little longer than expected, because you were terribly busy, but we worked on thattogether.I remember those nights of nuzzling you in bed and listening to your confidences and secret dreams, and I believed that life could not be any more perfect. We went for long walks and runs in the park, car rides, stops for ice cream (I only got the cone because "ice cream is bad for dogs" you said), and I took long naps in the sun waiting for you to come home at the end of the day.Gradually, you began spending more time at work and on your career, and more time searching for a human mate. I waited for you patiently, comforted you through heartbreaks and disappointments, never chided you about bad decisions, and romped with glee at your homecomings, and when you fell in love.She, now your wife, is not a "dog person" -- still I welcomed her into our home, tried to show her affection, and obeyed her. I was happy because you were happy.Then the human babies came along and I shared your excitement. I was fascinated by their pinkness, how they smelled, and I wanted to mother them, too. Only she and you worried that I might hurt them, and I spent most of my time banished to another room, or to a dog crate. Oh, how I wanted to love them, but I became a "prisoner of love."As they began to grow, I became their friend. They clung to my fur and pulled themselves up on wobbly legs, poked fingers in my eyes, investigated my ears, and gave me kisses on my nose. I loved everything about them and their touch -- because your touch was now so infrequent -- and I would've defended them with my life if need be. I would sneak into their beds and listen to their worries and secret dreams, and together we waited for the sound of your car in the driveway.There had been a time, when others asked you if you had a dog, that you produced a photo of me from your wallet and told them stories about me. These past few years, you just answered "yes" and changed the subject. I had gone from being "your dog" to "just a dog," and you resented every expenditure on my behalf.Now, you have a new career opportunity in another city, and you and they will be moving to an apartment that does not allow pets. You've made the right decision for your "family," but there was a time when I was your only family.I was excited about the car ride until we arrived at the animal shelter. It smelled of dogs and cats, of fear, of hopelessness. You filled out the paperwork and said "I know you will find a good home for her." They shrugged and gave you a pained look. They understand the realities facing a middle-aged dog, even one with "papers."You had to pry your son's fingers loose from my collar as he screamed "No, Daddy! Please don't let them take my dog!" And I worried for him, and what lessons you had just taught him about friendship and loyalty, about love and responsibility, and about respect for all life.You gave me a good-bye pat on the head, avoided my eyes, and politely refused to take my collar and leash with you. You had a deadline to meet and now I have one, too. After you left, the two nice ladies said you probably knew about your upcoming move months ago and made no attempt to find me another good home. They shook their heads and asked "How could you?"They are as attentive to us here in the shelter as their busy schedules allow. They feed us, of course, but I lost my appetite days ago. At first, whenever anyone passed my pen, I rushed to the front, hoping it was you that you had changed your mind -- that this was all a bad dream... or I hoped it would at least be someone who cared, anyone who might save me.When I realized I could not compete with the frolicking for attention of happy puppies, oblivious to their own fate, I retreated to a far corner and waited. I heard her footsteps as she came for me at the end of the day, and I padded along the aisle after her to a separate room.A blissfully quiet room. She placed me on the table and rubbed my ears, and told me not to worry. My heart pounded in anticipation of what was to come, but there was also a sense of relief. The prisoner of love had run out of days. As is my nature, I was more concerned about her. The burden which she bears weighs heavily on her, andI know that, the same way I knew your every mood. She gently placed a tourniquet around my foreleg as a tear ran down her cheek. I licked her hand in the same way I used to comfort you so many years ago. She expertly slid the hypodermic needle into my vein. As I felt the sting and the cool liquid coursing through my body, I lay down sleepily, looked into her kind eyes and murmured "How could you?"Perhaps because she understood my dogspeak, she said "I'm so sorry." She hugged me, and hurriedly explained it was her job to make sure I went to a better place, where I wouldn't be ignored or abused or abandoned, or have to fend for myself -- a place of love and light so very different from this earthly place.And with my last bit of energy, I tried to convey to her with a thump of my tail that my "How could you?" was not directed at her. It was directed at you, My Beloved Master, I was thinking of you. I will think of you and wait for you forever. May everyone in your life continue to show you so much loyalty.
Wednesday, April 13, 2005
i skated in the lonely world ...quiet and undisturbed at
1:05 AM
]Did I hear you right
‘Cause I thought you said
Let’s think it over
You have been my life
And I never planned
Growing old without you
Shadows bleeding through the light
Where a love once shined so bright
Came without a reason
Don’t let go on us tonight
Love’s not always black and white
Haven’t I always loved you?
But when I need youYou’re almost here
And I know that’s Not enough
But when I’m with youI’m close to tears
‘Cause you’re only almost here
I would change the worldIf I had a chance
Oh won’t you let me Treat me like a child
Throw your arms around mePlease protect me
Bruised and battered by your words
Dazed and shattered how it hurts
Haven’t I always loved you
Bruised and battered by your words
Dazed and shattered now it hurts Haven’t I always loved you
But when I need you, you’re almost here(Well I never knew how far behind I’d left you)And when I hold you, you’re almost here(Well I’m sorry that I took our love for granted)(Now I’m with you, I’m close to tears‘Cause I know I’m almost here)Only almost here
i skated in the lonely world ...quiet and undisturbed at
11:13 PM
| Powered by TagBoard Message Board |
